Elv. When comes my share of the reckoning to be called for?
          
                                                   [Aside.

Lor. Give me thy hand; thou art the honestest, kind man!—­I was resolved I would not out of thy house till I had seen thee.

Gom. No, in my conscience, if I had staid abroad till midnight.  But, colonel, you and I shall talk in another tone hereafter; I mean, in cold friendship, at a bar before a judge, by the way of plaintiff and defendant.  Your excuses want some grains to make them current:  Hum, and ha, will not do the business.—­There’s a modest lady of your acquaintance, she has so much grace to make none at all, but silently to confess the power of dame Nature working in her body to youthful appetite.

Elv. How he got in I know not, unless it were by virtue of his habit.

Gom. Ay, ay, the virtues of that habit are known abundantly.

Elv. I could not hinder his entrance, for he took me unprovided.

Gom. To resist him.

Elv. I’m sure he has not been here above a quarter of an hour.

Gom. And a quarter of that time would have served the turn.  O thou epitome of thy virtuous sex!  Madam Messalina the second, retire to thy apartment:  I have an assignation there to make with thee.

Elv. I am all obedience. [Exit ELVIRA.

Lor. I find, Gomez, you are not the man I thought you.  We may meet before we come to the bar, we may; and our differences may be decided by other weapons than by lawyers’ tongues.  In the mean time, no ill treatment of your wife, as you hope to die a natural death, and go to hell in your bed.  Bilbo is the word, remember that and tremble.—­
          
                                          [He’s going out.

Enter DOMINICK.

Dom. Where is this naughty couple? where are you, in the name of goodness?  My mind misgave me, and I durst trust you no longer with yourselves:  Here will be fine work, I’m afraid, at your next confession.

Lor. [Aside.] The devil is punctual, I see; he has paid me the shame he owed me; and now the friar is coming in for his part too.

Dom. [Seeing GOM.] Bless my eyes! what do I see?

Gom. Why, you see a cuckold of this honest gentleman’s making; I thank him for his pains.

Dom. I confess, I am astonished!

Gom. What, at a cuckoldom of your own contrivance! your head-piece, and his limbs, have done my business.  Nay, do not look so strangely; remember your own words,—­Here will be fine work at your next confession.  What naughty couple were they whom you durst not trust together any longer?—­when the hypocritical rogue had trusted them a full quarter of an hour;—­and, by the way, horns will sprout in less time than mushrooms.