Gerv. Take my advice yet; down o’ your marrow bones, and ask forgiveness; espouse the wife he has provided for you; lie by the side of a wholesome woman, and procreate your own progeny in the fear of heaven.

Wood. I have no vocation to it, Gervase:  A man of sense is not made for marriage; ’tis a game, which none but dull plodding fellows can play at well; and ’tis as natural to them, as crimp is to a Dutchman.

Gerv. Think on’t, however, sir; debauchery is upon its last legs in England:  Witty men began the fashion, and now the fops are got into it, ’tis time to leave it.

  Enter ALDO.

Aldo. Son Woodall, thou vigorous young rogue, I congratulate thy good fortune; thy man has told me the adventure of the Italian merchant.

Wood. Well, they are now retired together, like Rinaldo and Armida, to private dalliance; but we shall find a time to separate their loves, and strike in betwixt them, daddy.  But I hear there’s another lady in the house, my landlady’s fair daughter; how came you to leave her out of your catalogue?

Aldo. She’s pretty, I confess, but most damnably honest; have a care of her, I warn you, for she’s prying and malicious.

Wood. A twang of the mother; but I love to graff on such a crab-tree; she may bear good fruit another year.

Aldo. No, no, avoid her; I warrant thee, young Alexander, I will provide thee more worlds to conquer.

Gerv. [Aside.] My old master would fain pass for Philip of Macedon, when he is little better than Sir Pandarus of Troy.

Wood. If you get this keeper out of doors, father, and give me but an opportunity—­

Aldo. Trust my diligence; I will smoke him out, as they do bees, but I will make him leave his honey-comb.

Gerv. [Aside.] If I had a thousand sons, none of the race of the Gervases should ever be educated by thee, thou vile old Satan!

Aldo. Away, boy!  Fix thy arms, and whet, like the lusty German boys, before a charge:  He shall bolt immediately.

Wood. O, fear not the vigorous five-and-twenty.

Aldo. Hold, a word first:  Thou saidst my son was shortly to come over.

Wood. So he told me.

Aldo. Thou art my bosom friend.

Gerv. [Aside.] Of an hour’s acquaintance.

Aldo. Be sure thou dost not discover my frailties to the young scoundrel:  ’Twere enough to make the boy my master.  I must keep up the dignity of old age with him.

Wood. Keep but your own counsel, father; for whatever he knows, must come from you.

Aldo. The truth on’t is, I sent for him over; partly to have married him, and partly because his villainous bills came so thick upon me, that I grew weary of the charge.

Gerv. He spared for nothing; he laid it on, sir, as I have heard.