He then said, “I did not at the time tell you, my dear Chris, what Doctor Hall said to me the other day, because I thought it better to tell no one; but the events of the last week have caused me to change my mind. I feel that I must be perfectly open.
“The fact was, that he warned me that I showed unequivocal symptoms of a dangerous heart disease. He could not answer for anything, he said. I had seen that something was wrong from his expression, so I insisted on knowing everything.”
I can hardly describe my sensations at this announcement—I felt the room swim and shake; and yet it was made in such a deliberate matter-of-fact tone, that it flashed across me for an instant that Arthur was joking, and together with it came a curiously dismal sense of unreality, that is well known to all those who have passed through any great strain or emotional crisis, as if, suddenly, the soul had fallen out of everything, and they were nothing but lifeless empty husks, hollow and phantasmal.
“But,” I gasped, “you never said anything of this at the time: you—you behaved just as usual.”
“I certainly tried to,” he said. “And curiously enough, I did not either realize or fear the news at the time; it left my feelings almost blank. I won’t deny that it has caused me some painful thought since.... He gave me a few simple directions: I was to avoid bracing climates, hard physical work, or, indeed, mental effort—anything exhausting; to keep regular hours, avoid hot rooms and society and smoking; but that I might do, in moderation, anything that interested me, write or read; and, above all things, I was to avoid agitation.
“I think I intend to put his ideas into practice; not much with the idea of saving my life, for I don’t feel particularly anxious about that, but because I think that, on the whole, it is the most sensible kind of life to lead. And the fact that I had already accepted the charge of this boy has finally decided me; it was too late to draw back. I shall settle in some quiet place, and try and educate him for the University. I don’t at all expect to be dull; and it evidently wouldn’t do to thrust him straight into English life yet—he wants Anglicizing gradually. I hope he will be an average Englishman by the time he gets to Cambridge.”
Arthur heard the next day, from Mr. Bruce’s agent, that the boy would arrive in the course of a month, so he determined to try and have things ready by then for their retirement.
We went energetically to house agents, and the result was that we were at last blessed by success.
Cornwall was the county that we selected; its warm indolent climate seemed to answer our requirements best, and Arthur would not leave England.