“Dear me!” said Josiah; “how very interesting.  I suppose the chimneys are wide in Spain?”

“Very wide indeed,” said the bald-headed gentleman in spectacles.

Josiah regarded the captain with fresh interest after the recital of this remarkable ascent, and it was not diminished by further tales he heard.  One related to his reception by an Illustrious Personage.  After his journey to Orkney the I.P. had sent for him immediately on his return to town.  The captain had put on his uniform and gone cheerfully.  He had heard so much of his feat that he began to think there really was something creditable in it, and fancied the Illustrious Personage might be going to bestow upon him some recognition of the service he had done in blazoning abroad the pluck of the British soldier.  On the contrary, he found the Illustrious Person almost speechless with wrath, and stuffed with oaths like plums in a Christmas pudding.

“What—­what was the meaning of this flying by night, sir?” he cried turning a flaming visage upon the contrite captain.  “You’ll be going round with a circus next, riding five horses at a time, or walking round to show your muscle.  I hope I shall hear no more of this sort of thing.  Such goings-on bring disgrace upon the army and discredit upon its officers.  Stop at home, sir, and get into what mischief you like.  Go and idle your time at playing cards or worse; but don’t be playing these pranks any more.  Did you ever see me in a balloon, sir?  Did you ever hear of me skimming around the world in search of adventure?”

The Illustrious Personage drew himself up to full height, and swelled visibly before the eyes of the captain, as he angrily put these questions, garnished with many ejaculations.  He knew that our army swore terribly in Flanders, and was nothing if not a soldier.

“Your Royal Highness cannot blame us if we sometimes go out of our way to get into danger,” said the captain, saluting.  “Your Royal Highness has much to answer for by inflaming us with the memory of Inkermann.  How can we sit still or lounge about in our peaceful homes, when we think of you on that day?”

“Tut, tut!” said the Illustrious Personage, spluttering down like a fire on which a bucket of water had been flung, “that was a different thing.  But come and dine with me to-night:  only, drive up in a hansom, don’t arrive in a balloon.”

And the Illustrious Personage, what with enjoyment of the joke, and what with muscular effort to suppress his laughter, nearly brought about a vacancy in the highest rank of the army.

All this was doubtless as true as the story about the exit from the Spanish farmhouse.  But it pleased the company, and was only one of a dozen stories they told about the captain, who was chiefly longing to be out where he could smoke a cigar.