“Now, neebors all, we be trim and cozy in our insides, and ’tis time fur me to say summat.  I be proud, that I be, as it falls to me, bein’ bailiff o’ this town, to axe ya all to drink the good health of our honored townsman an guest.  I ha’ lived hereabout, boy an’ man, fur a matter o’ fifty year, an’ if so be I lived fifty more I couldna be a prouder man than I bin this night.  Boy an’ man, says I?  Ay, I knowed our guest when he were no more’n table high.  Well I mind him, that I do, comin’ by this very street to school; ay, an’ he minds me too, I warrant.

“I see him now, I do, skippin’ along street fresh an’ nimblelike, his eyne chock full o’ mischief lookin’ round fur to see some poor soul to play a prank on.  It do feel strange-like to have him a-sittin’ by my elbow today.  Many’s the tale I could tell o’ his doin’ an’ our sufferin’.  Why, I mind a poor lump of a ’prentice as I wunst had, a loon as never could raise a keek:  poor soul, he bin underground this many year.  Well, as I were sayin’, this ‘prentice o’ mine were allers bein’ baited by the boys o’ the grammar school.  I done my best for him, spoke them boys fair an’ soft, but, bless ya, ’twas no good; they baited him worse’n ever.  So one day I used my stick to um.  Next mornin’ I was down in my bake hus, makin’ my batch ready fur oven, when, oothout a word o’ warnin’, up comes my two feet behind, down I goes head fust into my flour barrel, and them young—­hem! the clergy be present—­them youngsters dancin’ round me like forty mad merry andrews at a fair.”

A roar of laughter greeted the anecdote.

“Ay, neebors,” resumed the bailiff, “we can laugh now, you an’ me, but theer’s many on ya could tell o’ your own mishappenin’s if ya had a mind to ‘t.  As fur me, I bided my time.  One day I cotched the leader o’ them boys nigh corn market, an’ I laid him across the badgerin’ stone and walloped him nineteen—­twenty—­hee! hee!  D’ya mind that, General?”

He turned to the guest at his right hand, who sat with but the glimmer of a smile, crumbling one of Bailiff Malkin’s rolls on the tablecloth.

“But theer,” continued the speaker, “that be nigh twenty year ago, an’ the shape o’ my strap binna theer now, I warrant.  Three skins ha’ growed since then—­hee! hee!  Who’d ha’ thought, neebors, as that young limb as plagued our very lives out ‘ud ha’ bin here today, a general, an’ a great man, an’ a credit to his town an’ country?  Us all thought as he’d bring his poor feyther’s gray hairs in sorrow to the grave.  An’ when I heerd as he’d bin shipped off to the Injies—­well, thinks I, that bin the last we’ll hear o’ Bob Clive.

“But, bless ya! all eggs binna addled.  General Clive here—­’twere the Injun sun what hatched he, an’ binna he, I axe ya, a rare young fightin’ cock?  Ay, and a good breed, too.  A hunnerd year ago theer was a Bob Clive as med all our grandfeythers quake in mortal fear, a terrible man o’ war was he.  They wanted to put ‘n into po’try an’ the church sarvice.