“Can’t what?” he asked, gradually understanding.
“I can’t marry. I shall never marry. It’s cruel to you, contemptible of me, to be here. I forgot myself, Ned. Come along! It’s madness to stay here.”
She turned on her heel and walked off sharply, taking the upper path. He picked up his hat and hastily followed. There was nothing else to be done. Overtaking her, he strode along by her side in a fury of mingled rage, sorrow, anger and disappointment.
She paused at the corner of her street. As she did so bells far and near began to strike midnight, the clock at the City Hall leading off with its quarters. They had been gone an hour and a quarter. To both of them it seemed like a year.
CHAPTER IV.
THE WHY OF THE WHIM.
Nellie stopped at the corner of her street, under the lamp-post. Ned stopped by her side, fuming by now, biting his moustache, hardly able to hold his tongue. Nellie looked at him a moment, sadly and sorrowfully. The look of determination that made her mouth appear somewhat cruel was on her whole face; but with it all she looked heart-broken.
“Ned,” she begged. “Don’t be angry with me. I can’t. Indeed, I can’t.”
“Why not?” he demanded, boiling over. “If you wouldn’t have had me at first I wouldn’t have blamed you. But you say you love me, or as good as say, and then you fly off. Nellie! Nellie, darling! If you only knew how for years I’ve dreamed of you. When I rode the horse’s hoofs kept saying ‘Nellie.’ I used to watch the stars and think them like your eyes, and the tall blue gum and think it wasn’t as full of grace as you. Down by the water just now I thought you wouldn’t have me because I wasn’t fit, and I’m not, Nellie, I’m not, but when I thought it I felt like a lost soul. And then, when I thought you loved me in spite of all, everything seemed changed. I seemed to feel that I was a man again, a good man, fit to live, and all that squatter government of ours could do, the worst they could do, seemed a bit of a joke while you loved me. And——”
“Ned! Ned!” begged Nellie, who had put her hands over her face while he was speaking. “Have pity on me! Can’t you see? I’m not iron and I’m not ice but I can’t do as others do. I cannot. I will not.”
“Why not?” he answered. “I will speak, Nellie. Do you——”
“Ned!” she interrupted, evidently forcing herself to speak. “It’s no use. I’ll tell you why it’s not.”
“There can be no reason.”
“There is a reason. Nobody knows but me. When I have said I would never marry people think it is a whim. Perhaps it is, but I have a reason that I thought never to tell anyone. I only tell you so that you may understand and we may still be friends, true friends.”
“Go on! I’ll convince you that it doesn’t mean what you think it does, this reason, whatever it is.”