[Illustration:  Knowledgeable Female (interpreting costumes to the crowd).  “AND ’IM—­’E’S A ESQUIMOKE.”]

* * * * *

    “The chauffeur, who sprang into the vehicle as it started off, was
    injured when it collided with a lamppost.  Both were removed to
    hospital.—­Daily Paper.

It is hoped that when the lamp-post has recovered it may throw some light on the accident.

* * * * *

“‘In a few more fleeting years’

    The ——­ will still be Earning Money for its owner when other cars have
    caused their owners to become but a memory.”—­Provincial Paper.

The advertiser ought not, we think, to have suppressed the names of these murderous machines.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  THE KINDEST CUT OF ALL.

WELSH WIZARD.  “I NOW PROCEED TO CUT THIS MAP INTO TWO PARTS AND PLACE THEM
IN THE HAT.  AFTER A SUITABLE INTERVAL THEY WILL BE FOUND TO HAVE COME
TOGETHER OF THEIR OWN ACCORD—­(ASIDE)—­AT LEAST LET’S HOPE SO; I’VE NEVER
DONE THIS TRICK BEFORE.”]

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

[Illustration:  MR. ASQUITH SITS UP AND TAKES NOTICE.

“THE MANCHESTER SCHOOL OF POLITICS IS DEAD AND THERE IS NO GOING BACK TO IT.”—­Mr. NEIL MACLEAN.]

Monday, March 1st.—­Calendar note (extracted from The Wee Free Almanack):  “Asquith comes in like a lion.”

Everybody wanted to see the victor of Paisley make his rentree.  The Peers’ Gallery was so crowded with his former colleagues that Lord ROTHERMERE had scarcely room for the big stick which typifies his present attitude towards the Government.  Poor Lord BEAVERBROOK was quite in the background; but I am told that on historic occasions he always prefers, with characteristic modesty, to be behind the scenes.

As the hero of the hour walked up the floor, escorted by Sir DONALD MACLEAN and Mr. THORNE, his supporters did their best to give him a rousing welcome.  But they were too few to produce much effect, and a moment or two later, when Mr. LLOYD GEORGE left the Treasury Bench to greet his old chief behind the SPEAKER’S Chair, they were compelled to hear the young bloods of the Coalition “give a louder roar.”

Finding the traditional seat of the Leader of the Opposition still in the occupation of Mr. ADAMSON, Mr. ASQUITH bestowed himself between the Labour Leader and Mr. NEIL MACLEAN, with whom he entered into conversation.  If he was endeavouring to expound for his benefit the moral of Paisley I am afraid he had but a poor success, for in the ensuing debate on food-control the Member for Govan shocked Liberal hearers by declaring that “the Manchester School is dead and there is no going back to it.”  In opposing the continuance of D.O.R.A.  Captain ELLIOT was again in good form.  His best mot, “With the Cabinet a thing is always either sub judice or chose jugee,” will take a good deal of beating as a summary of the Ministerial method of answering Questions.