Her grief had nothing selfish in it; he was not a friend or protector; but he was her father, an unhappy wretch, going into eternity, depraved and thoughtless.  Could a life of sensuality be a preparation for a peaceful death?  Thus meditating, she passed the still midnight hour by his bedside.

The nurse fell asleep, nor did a violent thunder storm interrupt her repose, though it made the night appear still more terrific to Mary.  Her father’s unequal breathing alarmed her, when she heard a long drawn breath, she feared it was his last, and watching for another, a dreadful peal of thunder struck her ears.  Considering the separation of the soul and body, this night seemed sadly solemn, and the hours long.

Death is indeed a king of terrors when he attacks the vicious man!  The compassionate heart finds not any comfort; but dreads an eternal separation.  No transporting greetings are anticipated, when the survivors also shall have finished their course; but all is black!—­the grave may truly be said to receive the departed—­this is the sting of death!

Night after night Mary watched, and this excessive fatigue impaired her own health, but had a worse effect on Ann; though she constantly went to bed, she could not rest; a number of uneasy thoughts obtruded themselves; and apprehensions about Mary, whom she loved as well as her exhausted heart could love, harassed her mind.  After a sleepless, feverish night she had a violent fit of coughing, and burst a blood-vessel.  The physician, who was in the house, was sent for, and when he left the patient, Mary, with an authoritative voice, insisted on knowing his real opinion.  Reluctantly he gave it, that her friend was in a critical state; and if she passed the approaching winter in England, he imagined she would die in the spring; a season fatal to consumptive disorders.  The spring!—­Her husband was then expected.—­Gracious Heaven, could she bear all this.

In a few days her father breathed his last.  The horrid sensations his death occasioned were too poignant to be durable:  and Ann’s danger, and her own situation, made Mary deliberate what mode of conduct she should pursue.  She feared this event might hasten the return of her husband, and prevent her putting into execution a plan she had determined on.  It was to accompany Ann to a more salubrious climate.

CHAP.  VIII.

I mentioned before, that Mary had never had any particular attachment, to give rise to the disgust that daily gained ground.  Her friendship for Ann occupied her heart, and resembled a passion.  She had had, indeed, several transient likings; but they did not amount to love.  The society of men of genius delighted her, and improved her faculties.  With beings of this class she did not often meet; it is a rare genus; her first favourites were men past the meridian of life, and of a philosophic turn.