I felt the burden of war descending upon me with all its crushing, annihilating weight.  I fought a losing fight against the conviction that for the rest of my leave I would be able to talk of nothing else and think of nothing else but the war.  If only I could talk to someone who would understand, that at least would bring relief!

I longed to see my two friends, although I felt some anxiety lest they might have changed, or rather lest they might not have changed with me.

It was in the evening of my first day that we met.  At first the one embarrassed me a little by his apparent cold aloofness.  But his caustic observations on the war soon made it clear that he had stood the test.  I realized, from the hatred that lay behind them, that he had suffered as much as many a soldier in the trenches.

Then the other said to me: 

“This is a thing I have never told anyone yet, but I will tell it to you now.  There are times when I almost wish I could see German troops marching victoriously through the streets of London.  It is not my reason that is speaking now, but my bitterness, which has become stronger than my reason.”

I understood him far too well to make any comment.

And then after a long silence, I said:  “I wonder if anybody else thinks like that.”

And he answered:  “Yes, there are many—­more than you would believe.”

But the first added:  “We must remain neutral—­that is our one and only duty.  The more malevolent our neutrality the better, but it must be neutrality.  Remember that there are Germans whose bitterness prompts them to wish that British troops were marching through the streets of Berlin.  I think their wish is juster than yours, but both wishes cannot be fulfilled, and it is therefore desirable that the next best thing should happen, namely, that both the Allies and their enemies should be entirely deprived of victory.”

I agreed, but added: 

“Yes, fundamentally one must remain neutral, but in relation to present circumstances one cannot remain neutral.  It is our business to arraign England, our own country, and not Germany.  It is for every nation to discover its own faults.  There are many Germans of courage and honesty who will condemn their country for the crimes she has committed.  But condemnation from outside is useless and is always discredited.  In all probability the Allies and the Central Powers are both equally bad, and to denounce the enemy only is mere yelping with the rest of the savage, vindictive pack.”

“That is true, but what is the good of saying it, or thinking it!  Ignorance, prejudice, and intellectual dishonesty are far stronger than you are.  The depravity of mankind is such that only failure and humiliation will carry conviction.  Mere words are only wasted.  If any nation is completely defeated in this war, then its people will rise against its rulers, whether they are guilty or