Pandemonium, of fire and brimstone, to the full, if not worse, than Mr. Dryden’s Verse, Whether inspir’d with a Diviner Lust his father got him, &c. [Footnote:  Absalom and Achit.] which is spoken only in the figurative Person of David; yet he says ’tis downright defiance of the Living God, and the very Essence and Spirit of Blasphemy. [Footnote:  Collier p. 184.] And here now his Stomach wambled more terribly than before; so that if his Friend were by, he must of necessity hold the Bason.  Oh me! he reaches and reaches, and first up comes—­egh—­I question whether—­egh—­the torments and despair of the Damn’d—­egh—­dare venture at such flights as these.  And now the Head being held by the same hand, at two reaches more it comes all up, mix’d with a Tincture of old Bonner again—­egh—­ I can’t forbear saying, that the next bad thing to writing these Impieties—­egh—­is to suffer them.  And now the Fit’s over, leaving us to imagine what rare Church Discipline we should have, if this Gentleman, and his Cat with nine Tails, were in Power; I think a Couplet or two here, by way of Advice to him, is not improper.

  Your Tribe should all be in Opinion steady,
  Not turn or wind for Power or for Place,
  Nor covet Wealth but in Spiritual Grace. 
  The Gifts of Mammon you should ne’r implore,
  Nor wish for Gold, unless to give the Poor;
  It makes your Art contemptible appear,
  Less follow’d too, and look’d into more near;
  For if all those that preach up Paradise,
  Will have their shares of every human Vice,
  They shall Cant long enough e’re I believe,
  Or pin my Soul’s Salvation on their sleeve.

  [Footnote:  Weesils, p. 11.]

Here now, ten to one, but I shall make our Reformer fall into another fit, by pretending to Counsel him, or take his Office of Ordinary upon my self; for in page 138, he will not give up that leave, What, is the Pulpit under the Discipline of the Stage?  And are those fit to correct the Church, that are not fit to come into it? [Footnote:  Collier, p. 138.] Ah!  Doctor, rub your eyes a little, and see what the Vindicator of the Stage says, quoting Divine Herbert: 

  A Verse may find him who a Sermon flies,
  And turn delight into a Sacrifice.

Besides I do assure you, spite of your Ghostly Authority, and Uncharitable Position, that we are not fit, we will come in, and not only imbibe the Mystery of Divinity from the Pulpit, but unriddle the Mystery of Iniquity, if we can find any there. Ben Johnson found out Ananias and Rabby Buisy; Fletcher, Hypocritical Roger; Shakespear, Sir John of Wrotham; Congreve, Say-grace; Vanbrook, Bull; Shadwell, Smirk; and if Durfey can find out a proud, stubborn, immoral Bernard, [Footnote:  The Chaplains Name in Don Quixot.] one, that when he was a Country Curate, would not let the Children be brought to Church to be Christned for some odd Jesuitical Reasons best known to himself, he shall presume to draw his Picture, tho the Absolver drop another Chapter of Abuse upon him for so doing.