a company of soldiers, and that company came marching
up on the Common. They had served out one term
in the Civil War and had reenlisted, and they were
being received by their native townsmen. I was
but a boy, but I was captain of that company, puffed
out with pride on that day—why, a cambric
needle would have burst me all to pieces. As
I marched on the Common at the head of my company,
there was not a man more proud than I. We marched
into the town hall and then they seated my soldiers
down in the center of the house and I took my place
down on the front seat, and then the town officers
filed through the great throng of people, who stood
close and packed in that little hall. They came
up on the platform, formed a half circle around it,
and the mayor of the town, the “chairman of
the Selectmen” in New England, took his seat
in the middle of that half circle. He was an old
man, his hair was gray; he never held an office before
in his life. He thought that an office was all
he needed to be a truly great man, and when he came
up he adjusted his powerful spectacles and glanced
calmly around the audience with amazing dignity.
Suddenly his eyes fell upon me, and then the good
old man came right forward and invited me to come up
on the stand with the town officers. Invited
me up on the stand! No town officer ever took
notice of me before I went to war. Now, I should
not say that. One town officer was there who
advised the teacher to “whale” me, but
I mean no “honorable mention.” So
I was invited up on the stand with the town officers.
I took my seat and let my sword fall on the floor,
and folded my arms across my breast and waited to
be received. Napoleon the Fifth! Pride goeth
before destruction and a fall. When I had gotten
my seat and all became silent through the hall, the
chairman of the Selectmen arose and came forward with
great dignity to the table, and we all supposed he
would introduce the Congregational minister, who was
the only orator in the town, and who would give the
oration to the returning soldiers. But, friends,
you should have seen the surprise that ran over that
audience when they discovered that this old farmer
was going to deliver that oration himself. He
had never made a speech in his life before, but he
fell into the same error that others have fallen into,
he seemed to think that the office would make him
an orator. So he had written out a speech and
walked up and down the pasture until he had learned
it by heart and frightened the cattle, and he brought
that manuscript with him, and taking it from his pocket,
he spread it carefully upon the table. Then he
adjusted his spectacles to be sure that he might see
it, and walked far back on the platform and then stepped
forward like this. He must have studied the subject
much, for he assumed an elocutionary attitude; he
rested heavily upon his left heel, slightly advanced
the right foot, threw back his shoulders, opened the
organs of speech, and advanced his right hand at an
angle of forty-five. As he stood in that elocutionary
attitude this is just the way that speech went, this
is it precisely. Some of my friends have asked
me if I do not exaggerate it, but I could not exaggerate
it. Impossible! This is the way it went;
although I am not here for the story but the lesson
that is back of it: