in making the most of any difficulty among his neighbors.
The egg of mischief and controversy was hardly laid,
before the worthy lawyer, with maternal care, came
clucking about it; he watched and warmed it without
remission; and when fairly hatched, he took care that
the whole brood should be brought safely into court,
his voice, and words, and actions, fully attesting
the deep interest in their fortunes which he had manifested
from the beginning. Many a secret slander, ripening
at length into open warfare, had been traced to his
friendly influence, either
ab ovo, or at least
from the perilous period in such cases when the very
existence of the embryo relies upon the friendly breath,
the sustaining warmth, and the occasional stimulant.
Lawyer Pippin, among his neighbors, was just the man
for such achievements, and they gave him, with a degree
of shrewdness common to them as a people, less qualified
credit for the capacity which he at all times exhibited
in bringing a case into, than in carrying it out of
court. But this opinion in nowise affected the
lawyer’s own estimate of his pretensions.
Next to being excessively mean, he was excessively
vain, and so highly did he regard his own opinions,
that he was never content until he heard himself busily
employed in their utterance. An opportunity for
a speech, such as the present, was not suffered to
pass without due regard; but as we propose that he
shall exhibit himself in the most happy manner at a
later period in our narrative, we shall abridge, in
few, the long string of queerly-associated words in
the form of a speech, which, on assuming the chair
thus assigned him, he poured forth upon the assembly.
After a long prefatory, apologetic, and deprecatory
exordium, in which his own demerits, as is usual with
small speakers, were strenuously urged; and after
he had exhausted most of the commonplaces about the
purity of the ermine upon the robes of justice, and
the golden scales, and the unshrinking balance, and
the unsparing and certain sword, he went on thus:—
“And now, my friends, if I rightly understand
the responsibility and obligations of the station
thus kindly conferred upon me, I am required to arraign
the pedler, Jared Bunce, before you, on behalf of the
country, which country, as the clerk reads it, you
undoubtedly are; and here let me remark, my friends,
the excellent and nice distinction which this phrase
makes between the man and the soil, between the noble
intellect and the high soul, and the mere dirt and
dust upon which we daily tread. This very phrase,
my friends, is a fine embodiment of that democratic
principle upon which the glorious constitution is erected.
But, as I was saying, my friends, I am required to
arraign before you this same pedler, Jared Bunce,
on sundry charges of misdemeanor, and swindling, and
fraud—in short, as I understand it, for
endeavoring, without having the fear of God and good
breeding in his eyes, to pass himself off upon the
good people of this county as an honest man. Is
this the charge, my friends?”