Yours,
          A. Fitzgerald.

LETTER 161.

To Miss Fermor, at Silleri.

Dover, July 8.

I am this moment arrived, my dear Bell, after a very agreable passage, and am setting out immediately for London, from whence I shall write to you the moment I have seen Mrs. Rivers; I will own to you I tremble at the idea of this interview, yet am resolved to see her, and open all my soul to her in regard to her son; after which, I shall leave her the mistress of my destiny; for, ardently as I love him, I will never marry him but with her approbation.

I have a thousand anxious fears for my Rivers’s safety:  may heaven protect him from the dangers his Emily has escaped!

I have but a moment to write, a ship being under way which is bound to Quebec; a gentleman, who is just going off in a boat to the ship, takes the care of this.

May every happiness attend my dear girl.  Say every thing affectionate for me to Captain Fermor and Mr. Fitzgerald.

      Adieu!  Yours,
          Emily Montague.

LETTER 162.

To Miss Fermor, at Silleri.

London, July 19.

I got to town last night, my dear, and am at a friend’s, from whence I have this morning sent to Mrs. Rivers; I every moment expect her answer; my anxiety of mind is not to be expressed; my heart sinks; I almost dread the return of my messenger.

If the affections, my dear friend, give us the highest happiness of which we are capable, they are also the source of our keenest misery; what I feel at this instant, is not to be described:  I have been near resolving to go into the country without seeing or sending to Mrs. Rivers.  If she should receive me with coldness—­why should I have exposed myself to the chance of such a reception?  It would have been better to have waited for Rivers’s arrival; I have been too precipitate; my warmth of temper has misled me:  what had I to do to seek his family?  I would give the world to retract my message, though it was only to let her know I was arrived; that her son was well, and that she might every hour expect him in England.

There is a rap at the door:  I tremble I know not why; the servant comes up, he announces Mr. and Mrs. Temple:  my heart beats, they are at the door.

One o’clock.

They are gone, and return for me in an hour; they insist on my dining with them, and tell me Mrs. Rivers is impatient to see me.  Nothing was ever so polite, so delicate, so affectionate, as the behaviour of both; they saw my confusion, and did every thing to remove it:  they enquired after Rivers, but without the least hint of the dear interest I take in him:  they spoke of the happiness of knowing me:  they asked my friendship, in a manner the most flattering that can be imagined.  How strongly does Mrs. Temple, my dear, resemble her amiable brother! her eyes have the same sensibility, the same pleasing expression; I think I scarce ever saw so charming a woman; I love her already; I feel a tenderness for her, which is inconceivable; I caught myself two or three times looking at her, with an attention for which I blushed.