“It was now become very difficult for him to speak; but by the motion of his hands and eyes, which were continually lifted up when he had the smallest respite, I could easily see his thoughts were fixed on the importance of his situation; besides, many sentences and half sentences broke from his lips at different times, which left me without a doubt.  ‘Farewell,’ said he, ’vain world; an idle world it is, nothing but shadows, and we keep chasing them as children do bubbles of water, till they break, and we find them nothing but air.’

“Observing this inward recollection, I seldom disturbed him.  He was perfectly acquainted with the truth, and believed it.  The doctrines of religion were often the subject of our conversation, and in every point of faith we entirely agreed:  they only wanted to be felt and applied to the heart.  I remained in silence to my dear husband, but not to my God:  I was incessant in prayer, begging and beseeching that the Lord himself would carry on what he had so graciously begun—­that he would every way suit himself to his necessities, and give conviction or consolation, as he saw needful; but when he spoke I endeavored to answer him from God’s own word, as I was able or assisted.  Once he exclaimed, ’Draw me, and I will run after thee;’ at another time, ’Surely thou wilt not allow thy blessed Son to plead in vain for me, an obstinate sinner.’  This was a degree of faith, and I endeavored to strengthen it.  I said, ’My love, you know the way to the Father, through Christ, the only Mediator.  You say right, he cannot plead in vain; fly to him; cast yourself at his feet; trust in him; hear his own invitation, ’Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest;’ ’him that cometh unto me I will in no wise cast out.’  At another time these words broke from his lips, ‘Form me, train me, prepare me for thyself.’  Here was a breathing after sanctification; might not the promise be applied, ’I will create a clean heart, and renew a right spirit within thee.’

“In the evening the physicians again attended, but could hardly get a word from him.  While they sat by the bedside I went out to the gallery with Mrs. Grandidier; the apparent struggle she had to conceal her distress, the compassion and sympathy in her countenance struck me.  I easily perceived she gave up hope, and, I began to suspect, not from her own judgment alone; she advised me to send away my children to a friend’s house, and to send for a person who was capable of assisting me, it being no longer proper for me to be alone.  Thus far I had not allowed any person to do the least thing about him but myself, nor stirred from his bedside, except for a few minutes, to pour out my soul into the bosom of my God.  I hardly, if ever, prayed for his recovery, being willing the rod should remain till it effected the purpose for which it was sent, and then I believed it would be removed—­as if the Lord was to follow exactly the rules prescribed by my weak, foolish, ignorant heart.