“Fifty years ago the Lord convinced me of my sin, my misery, and my total helplessness. I was also, I think, enabled to lay hold on the hope set before me.
“I have, in numerous exercises and acts, accepted of God’s gift of Jesus Christ to me a condemned sinner; taking hold of the Scripture words of invitation and promise held out for my acceptance. I have pleaded his own covenant provision, in the substitution of his own Son in my stead, making him to be sin, who knew no sin, that sinners might be made the righteousness of God in him. I put in my claim as a sinner, among the ungodly for whom Christ died. I believed his testimony, and set to my seal that God is true. I rested on this foundation—I yet have no other; I know there is no other. The foundation standeth sure. But Oh, what am I to think of the fruits? I have again and again turned back into the world, grieved the Spirit, crucified the Son of God afresh, and put him to open shame. No wonder I stand alarmed at the apostle’s assertion: my conscience testifies that my character is nearly, if not altogether, such as the apostle, by the Holy Spirit, says it is impossible to renew to repentance. Hebrews 6:4, 5. But thou hast renewed to repentance! Thy name is ’the Lord, the Lord God, merciful and gracious, long-suffering, and abundant in goodness and truth, keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity, transgression, and sin.’ Thou wilt by no means clear the guilty; but thou hast provided a substitute, and laid my guilt and guilty person on thine own Son.
“By this gracious name thou wast known to thy backsliding Israel in the wilderness; whose heart, like mine, was not right with God; neither were they steadfast in his covenant; but he, ’being full of compassion, forgave their iniquity, and destroyed them not.’ Many a time turned he his anger away, and did not stir up all his wrath. They forgot God their Saviour, who had done great things for them; they transgressed his commandment, and in their heart turned back again to Egypt; they brought upon themselves many afflictions, and many times did he deliver them; they provoked him with their counsel, and were brought low for their iniquity; nevertheless, he heard their cry, and repented according to the multitude of his mercies; while the blood of bulls and of goats typified the great propitiatory sacrifice, by which ‘God can be just and justify the ungodly.’ By this name was the Lord God, merciful and gracious, known in the pleasant land; and by the same sacrifice, the blood of Christ, which cleanseth from all sin, was typified. Psalms 103, 51.