“I seem, as to apprehension, left to my own dark, dismal, carnal self; naked faith on the finished work of my Redeemer is all that supports me; and that as a bare preventive of fear and source of a hope that ’I shall yet praise Him who is the health of my countenance and my God.’  I know his covenant stands fast, I have taken hold of it; I do at this cold and stupid moment place my confidence in it.  Christ is God’s covenant, God’s gift to sinners; I believe it; he is the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world; I believe it; I believe on the Son for all the purposes for which God has sent him into the world; therefore I have everlasting life; I believe the record that God gave of his Son; that God hath given to me eternal life, and this life is in his Son, not in me, but in union with him.  ’He that hath the Son hath life; he that hath not the Son, hath not life.’  John 5.

“I thank thee, my God, that thou hast not left me to cast away my confidence in Christ.  I have life in him, and no life but as I have it from him.  Thou seest how it is with me.  Thou art my reconciled Father in Christ, but thou hast shut me out from thy presence.  I do not enjoy thee; my poor heart is tossed from trifle to trifle.  It has been my way through life to destroy myself, and thy way to deliver me.  Thou hast been very gracious to me in my old age.  I have enjoyed much of thy presence in thy sanctuary and in my private hours; and although sin has dwelt and does dwell in me, I have enjoyed thy forgiving grace, and have tasted thy love, far beyond what I have for weeks past.  ’Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my thoughts; and see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.’  Show me wherefore thou contendest with me.  Am I living in the indulgence of any known wilful sin; or in the habitual neglect of any known duty?  Lord, ’it is not in man that walketh to direct his steps.’  I know I have been unthankful, unwatchful, idle; alas, this is my ordinary course; but it is not the ordinary course of my Lord God, merciful and gracious, to mark iniquity against me, but to forgive me daily, to lead me to the blood of sprinkling, to give me contrition, and to restore me to his favor by giving me ’joy and peace in believing.’  Help, Lord; give me heart-searching exercises.  I read thy word, I set about that to which thou callest me.  I set apart this day for fasting, but the gracious exercises are not in me.  Come, O come, and be with me.  Exalted Prince, give repentance and remission; in thy light let me see light.

“’Therefore now turn ye unto me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping and mourning; rend your heart and not your garments, turn unto the Lord your God; for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and repenteth him of the evil.’  Joel 2:12.  O, do I not know thee by this name; has it not been thy name to me throughout this wide wilderness, ’pardoning