“In my large light closet, within my airy, comfortable room; the prospect from my windows such as I have ever delighted in, woods and water, flower-garden and fruit-trees, and beautiful shrubs of various kinds, all as much mine as if my own individual property by the laws of the land in which I live; surrounded with books, and my children’s rich library at my command; enjoying rich gospel ordinances, under a godly, gifted pastor, with pious, loving, sensible church-members; a carriage to convey me, Sabbath and week-days, to places of worship; children whose desire is that I may enjoy all these to the full without care or trouble, they caring for me; with all these a large measure of health, my eyes see my teachers, my ears hear their voice.  Why then these tears?  Are they all for sin?  Lord, search and see.  Does no wounded pride, no selfish hurt mix?  Ah, Lord, thou knowest.  I have detected much, and mourn and weep on that account; but I fear there is yet much lurking and working that I know not.

“I have set apart the remainder of this day for fasting and humiliation on account of past sins which I already know, and for yet further search into what I know not of at present.  Lord, give me heart-searching exercises.  Glory, glory, glory to Father, Son, and blessed Comforter, that I am forgiven; thy Spirit witnesseth with my spirit that I am forgiven.  Thou hast given me faith in the truth of thy testimony, that the blood of Christ cleanseth from all sin—­that this is thy own provision for sinners—­that Christ died for the ungodly—­that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us—­that Christ hath loved us, and given himself for us—­that ’God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.’  These last words came from thy own lips of flesh.  Thou gift of God to a perishing world, and to me, one of the most guilty in it, thou also saidst, ’He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life.’  Thy Spirit witnesseth with my spirit, that to me it is given on the behalf of Christ to believe in him.  Phil. 1:29.  Therefore I have everlasting life.  Him who was slain and hanged on a tree, ’Him hath God exalted to be a Prince and a Saviour, for to give repentance and remission of sins.’  From this exalted Prince I have repentance and forgiveness of sin, and therefore I dare look at my sins:  I look with grief, but not with terror.  Though forgiven, and though provision is made for forgiveness, sin is still an evil and a bitter thing.

“This day is set apart for mourning.  I desire to search, to know more of my vileness, that I may mourn yet more; that while my heart is wrung for my ingratitude, the Lord may make it the means of crucifying my sins, especially that which so easily besets me, that he will give me the prayer of faith that they may be forgiven, and that I may be delivered from their power in my heart; that I may be clothed with humility, so humble that nothing can hurt me, wearing my Redeemer’s yoke, leaning upon him who was ‘meek and lowly,’ that I may find rest to my soul.  Now, Lord, assist me for the rest of the day” and let to-morrow be the beginning of days.”