“COMMUNION SABBATH, May 17, 1812.

“Was much melted under a sense of indwelling sin, and the deceitfulness of the human heart, and of my own heart in particular.  I have been.  I think, much in the exercise of contrition for the sins of my past life, and exercised in watching over my words, thoughts, and actions; now that the Lord has delivered me from all necessity to care, having every thing provided for me necessary to life and godliness: pleasant food and clothing both for body and mind; my dear room, retirement, fire, candle, attendance; my precious Bible, and precious, lively, spiritual ordinances; a faithful and beloved pastor, who feeds me with truth:  I taste it, and I am fed.  I am, as the Lord God merciful and gracious has awarded, under the constant influence of shame and confusion for my highly aggravated transgressions:  but I also enjoy the full sense of pardon; being justified by faith, I have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ; and knowing that I have a ’great high-priest that is passed into, the heavens, Jesus the Son of God,’ I am enabled to hold fast my profession, comforted by this, that I have not a high-priest who cannot be touched with the feeling of my infirmities, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin.  I dare come, not very boldly, for I am under much depression, to the throne of grace, that I may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.  Every time is a time of need with me, for sin still dwelleth in me.  I have peace with God through my dear Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, but am at constant war with myself.  I plead thy promise, that thou wilt subdue my iniquities, that sin shall not have dominion over me.  And now, Captain of salvation, I renew the fight, but it is depending upon thee to fight for me, with me, and in me.  I will set myself to watch, but I shall watch in vain, if thou keep not the avenues of my heart, and the door of my lips.  O, clothe me with thy meek and lowly spirit.”

“SABBATH, July 26, 1812.

“Tired of the bustle of Rockaway, and having some subordinate motives for returning home for a time, I embraced this season in particular; having, in the compass of one week, Sabbath, Wednesday my birthday, and the day set apart both by the General Assembly of our church and the Governor of our state, for fasting, prayer, and humiliation, besides lectures on the same evening.  I returned therefore on Friday, the 24th.

“Dr. R——­ preached from Psalm 27:1,’The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?’