Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103, December 3, 1892 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 36 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103, December 3, 1892.

Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103, December 3, 1892 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 36 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103, December 3, 1892.
of his heart, expressing an admiration which might seem excessive to all but its objects.  They, with the guilelessness of mature age and conscious merit, were touched by SAUNDERS’S expressions of esteem, which they set down to hero-worship, and a fervent study of Mr. CARLYLE’S works.  Only one of the persons addressed, unluckily, could be elected; but Saunders added their responses to his pile of testimonials, and frequently gave them good epistolary reason to remember his existence and his devotion.

His earliest object was to become secretary to somebody or something, the Prime Minister, the Minister for Foreign Affairs, the Society for the Protection of Aborigines, or Ancient Monuments, or even as Secretary to the Carlton Club, Saunders felt he could do his talents justice in any of these positions.  If anything was to be had, Saunders was the boy to ask for it; nay more, to ask other people to ask.  Private Secretaryships to Ministers, or societies, or great Clubs, are not invariably given to the first applicant who comes along, even if he appeals to testimonials in the Junior Mathematical Class from Professor MCGLASHAN of St. Mungo’s.  But Saunders was not daunted.  He would write to one notable, informing him that his grandmother had been at a parish school with the notable’s great uncle—­on which ground of acquaintanceship he would ask that the notable should at once get him a post as Secretary of a Geological Society, or as Inspector of Manufactories, or of Salmon Fisheries, or to a Commission on the Trade of Knife-grinding.

Another notable he would tell that he had once been pointed out to him in a railway station, therefore he was emboldened to ask his correspondent to ask his Publisher, to get at the Editor of the Times, and recommend him, Saunders, as Musical Critic, or Sub-editor, or Society Reporter.  Nor did Saunders neglect Professorships, and vacant Chairs.  His testimonials went in for all of them.  He was equally ready and qualified to be Professor of Greek, Metaphysics, Etruscan, Chemistry, or the Use of the Globes, while Biblical criticism and Natural Religion, prompted his wildest yearnings.  Though ignorant of foreign languages, he was prepared to be a correspondent anywhere, and though he was purely unlearned in all matters, he proposed to edit Dictionaries and Encyclopaedias, of course with the assistance of a large and competent staff.  His proofs of capacity for a series of occupations that would have staggered a Crichton, was always attested by his old College testimonials, for Saunders was of opinion that the courteous obiter dictum of a Professor was an Open Sesame to all the golden gates of the world.  Meanwhile, he supported existence by teaching the elements of the classic languages, with which he had the most distant acquaintance, to little boys, at a Day School.  But one of these pupils came home, one afternoon, in tears, having been beaten on the palms of the hands

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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103, December 3, 1892 from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.