* * * * *

Whenever I leave the room to go to bed, I look back, and there is my brother sitting in the chair.  And then I cannot sleep because of thinking of him sitting through all the long night-hours.  And in the morning, when I open the study door, there he is, and I know he has sat there the night long.

* * * * *

I am becoming desperate from lack of sleep.  I wish I could confide in a physician.

* * * * *

Blessed sleep!  I have won to it at last.  Let me tell you.  Last night I was so worn that I found myself dozing in my chair.  I rang for the servant and ordered him to bring blankets.  I slept.  All night was he banished from my thoughts as he was banished from my chair.  I shall remain in it all day.  It is a wonderful relief.

* * * * *

It is uncomfortable to sleep in a chair.  But it is more uncomfortable to lie in bed, hour after hour, and not sleep, and to know that he is sitting there in the cold darkness.

* * * * *

It is no use.  I shall never be able to sleep in a bed again.  I have tried it now, numerous times, and every such night is a horror.  If I could but only persuade him to go to bed!  But no.  He sits there, and sits there—­I know he does—­while I stare and stare up into the blackness and think and think, continually think, of him sitting there.  I wish I had never heard of the eternity of forms.

* * * * *

The servants think I am crazy.  That is but to be expected, and it is why I have never called in a physician.

* * * * *

I am resolved.  Henceforth this hallucination ceases.  From now on I shall remain in the chair.  I shall never leave it.  I shall remain in it night and day and always.

* * * * *

I have succeeded.  For two weeks I have not seen him.  Nor shall I ever see him again.  I have at last attained the equanimity of mind necessary for philosophic thought.  I wrote a complete chapter to-day.

* * * * *

It is very wearisome, sitting in a chair.  The weeks pass, the months come and go, the seasons change, the servants replace each other, while I remain.  I only remain.  It is a strange life I lead, but at least I am at peace.

* * * * *

He comes no more.  There is no eternity of forms.  I have proved it.  For nearly two years now, I have remained in this chair, and I have not seen him once.  True, I was severely tried for a time.  But it is clear that what I thought I saw was merely hallucination.  He never was.  Yet I do not leave the chair.  I am afraid to leave the chair.

TOLD IN THE DROOLING WARD