Vaughan always said he grew gray himself while Nolan struggled through this interpretation.  I, who did not understand anything of the passion involved in it, saw that the very elements were melting with fervent heat, and that something was to pay somewhere.  Even the negroes themselves stopped howling, as they saw Nolan’s agony, and Vaughan’s almost equal agony of sympathy.  As quick as he could get words, he said: 

“Tell them yes, yes, yes; tell them they shall go to the Mountains of the Moon, if they will.  If I sail the schooner through the Great White Desert, they shall go home!”

And after some fashion Nolan said so.  And then they all fell to kissing him again, and wanted to rub his nose with theirs.

But he could not stand it long; and getting Vaughan to say he might go back, he beckoned me down into our boat.  As we lay back in the stern-sheets and the men gave way, he said to me:  “Youngster, let that show you what it is to be without a family, without a home, and without a country.  And if you are ever tempted to say a word or to do a thing that shall put a bar between you and your family, your home, and your country, pray God in His mercy to take you that instant home to His own heaven.  Stick by your family, boy; forget you have a self, while you do everything for them.  Think of your home, boy; write and send, and talk about it.  Let it be nearer and nearer to your thought, the farther you have to travel from it; and rush back to it when you are free, as that poor black slave is doing now.  And for your country, boy,” and the words rattled in his throat, “and for that flag,” and he pointed to the ship, “never dream a dream but of serving her as she bids you, though the service carry you through a thousand hells.  No matter what happens to you, no matter who flatters you or who abuses you, never look at another flag, never let a night pass but you pray God to bless that flag.  Remember, boy, that behind all these men you have to do with, behind officers, and government, and people even, there is the Country Herself, your Country, and that you belong to Her as you belong to your own mother.  Stand by Her, boy, as you would stand by your mother, if those devils there had got hold of her to-day!”

I was frightened to death by his, calm, hard passion; but I blundered out that I would, by all that was holy, and that I had never thought of doing anything else.  He hardly seemed to hear me; but he did, almost in a whisper, say:  “O, if anybody had said so to me when I was of your age!”

I think it was this half-confidence of his, which I never abused, for I never told this story till now, which afterward made us great friends.  He was very kind to me.  Often he sat up, or even got up, at night, to walk the deck with me, when it was my watch.  He explained to me a great deal of my mathematics, and I owe to him my taste for mathematics.  He lent me books, and helped me about my reading.