ELAINE. [Politely.] Yes, ma’am.

CHRISTOPHER.  Aunt Georgiana’s party!

MRS. CARLEY.  Yes, dear, it’s too bad mamma is ill in bed.  She says when you are all through, you may come up and say how do you do, while she kisses Phil. [Silence.] That will be nice, won’t it?

PHILIP. [Grudgingly.] Yes, ma’am.

ELAINE.  Yes, ma’am.

CHRISTOPHER.  Yes, ma’am.

TOOTS.  No!

MRS. CARLEY.  We are glad you could come in, Elaine, and help celebrate
Philip’s birthday.

ELAINE.  Thank you, ma’am!

[TOOTS is mashing his ice cream strenuously with a spoon.

MRS. CARLEY.  Toots! don’t be naughty and don’t mash your ice cream up like that.

TOOTS.  I like it.

CHRISTOPHER.  Me too—­it makes soup!

[Copying TOOTS.

MRS. CARLEY.  Your collar’s crooked, Chris.

[Arranging it.

CHRISTOPHER.  Ouch!

[Squirming.

MRS. CARLEY.  Phil, shall grandma cut your cake for you?

PHILIP.  No, ma’am, Auntie Georgiana’s going to cut it.

MRS. CARLEY.  Oh, very well.  How’s your mamma, Elaine?  Is she going to the big ball to-morrow?

ELAINE.  Yes, ma’am.

MRS. CARLEY.  We feel dreadfully.  Philip’s mamma’s illness prevents our going.

ELAINE.  Mamma said you weren’t invited.

MRS. CARLEY. [Pats PHILIP on the head, to his great disgust and discomfort.] Your mamma had better mind!  Your mamma is mistaken!  Good-by, children, grandma is sorry she can’t stay and have a good time with you.  I am going to call, Elaine, on the Countess of Worling, Mrs. Tom Cooley’s daughter.  I don’t think your mother knows them.  Good-by, dears, enjoy yourselves.

[She goes out Left.

[Silence till the door is well shut behind grandma, and then the children break out with shouts, all of them, of “Good-by, Grandma.  Good-by,” repeated ad lib.  Then they calm down.

PHILIP.  Bully!  Grandma’s gone!

CHRISTOPHER.  Ice cream!

ALL THE CHILDREN.  More ice cream!  Ice cream!

PHILIP.  Let’s see.

[MOLES hands him the ice cream dish.

CHRISTOPHER. [To PHILIP.] Can I have some more, or will it make me sick?

PHILIP. [Serves the children.] No, there’s plenty.  When there isn’t enough, mamma always says it will make us sick.

CHRISTOPHER.  And papa—­when we have company unexpected, and there isn’t enough of anything, papa always says F.H.B.

PHILIP.  F.H.B.

ELAINE.  Why?

CHRISTOPHER.  He says it means Family Hold Back, and we all have to say
“No, thank you,” when it comes around!  Do you like grandma, Phil?

PHILIP.  Naw!  Grandma’s no good.

[MOLES goes out with the empty ice cream dish.