PHILIP.  She’s nearly thirty, I guess.

ALL THE CHILDREN.  Oh!

[Loud and long.

CHRISTOPHER.  You’ll be deader soon after thirty, won’t you?

TOOTS. [Crying.] I don’t want Auntie Georgiana to be a deader!

PHILIP. [Bored.] Shut up!

LIZZIE. [Comes to TOOTS and comforts him.] Toots, dear!

PHILIP.  I’m glad Aunt Georgiana’s an old maid, ’cause I don’t want her to leave us.

[FOOTMAN enters and stands at the Right.]

She gave me my birthday party.

MOLES.  Yes, and this whole house’d miss your aunt, I can tell you that, Mr. Philip. [Takes away the plates.] She just keeps things going smooth with everybody.

PHILIP.  I told her I saw you kiss Lizzie on the back stairs, Saturday.

MOLES.  What!

[Gives dishes to the FOOTMAN.

LIZZIE.  He didn’t!  He didn’t!

PHILIP.  Yes, that’s what Aunt Georgiana said, but I know better, and so does she, I guess!

LIZZIE.  Isn’t he a case!

[MOLES goes out with the FOOTMAN.

PHILIP.  Now what?

CHRISTOPHER.  Soup!

PHILIP.  Ice cream!  I want ice cream!

LIZZIE.  Sh!

ELAINE.  My mamma don’t let my brothers behave so at the table.

PHILIP.  Neither don’t we, ’cept our birthdays.

[MOLES reenters with a tray and plates.

CHRISTOPHER.  What is it?

PHILIP. [Screams.] Eeh!  Ice cream!  It’s ice cream!

LIZZIE.  Sh!

PHILIP.  Go ahead, dish it out!

[Laughs.

[MOLES serves ice cream to ELAINE, then to PHILIP, TOOTS, and CHRISTOPHER.

CHRISTOPHER.  Mr. Dick Coleman is gooder as Cousin Sammy Coast.

ELAINE.  Aunt Georgiana is goodest as him!

CHRISTOPHER.  Aunt Georgiana is gooder as mamma!

TOOTS.  And most goodest as grandma.

[LIZZIE exchanges a glance with MOLES and goes out Right.

PHILIP.  Grandma!  Rats!

MOLES. [To PHILIP.] Sh!

PHILIP. [Shouts.] Stop, Chris!  He’s taking too much ice cream!

ALL THE CHILDREN.  Chris!  Chris!

[They keep up the clamor, laughing and shouting, till LIZZIE comes back.

LIZZIE.  Children! here comes grandma.

PHILIP. [Disgusted.] Oh, pshaw!

CHRISTOPHER.  Don’t want grandma.

LIZZIE.  Sh!

[MRS. CARLEY comes in from the Right.  She is a middle-aged woman, of faded prettiness and frivolous manner.  Every line and bit of character has been massaged out of her face.  There is a sudden, embarrassed, and gloomy silence on the part of the children.

MRS. CARLEY.  Well, children, having a lovely party?

PHILIP. [Grudgingly.] Yes, ma’am!