There are four charming though somewhat spoiled children, with intermittent manners, with napkins tied up under their chins, sitting around the table, which is a little to the right of the centre of the room.

The FOOTMAN is busy removing the plates; the butler, MOLES, who stands behind PHILIP, always takes PHILIP’S plate.  It is PHILIP’S birthday. LIZZIE stands behind ELAINE. In the centre of the table is a large cake with seven candles burning on it.

PHILIP.  What comes next?

CHRISTOPHER.  Soup!

[LIZZIE and MOLES suppress smiles, exchanging looks of delighted appreciation of CHRISTOPHER’S humor.

TOOTS.  Ice cream!

ELAINE.  Don’t be absurd, Christopher, we’ve had soup.

CHRISTOPHER.  I like it!

TOOTS.  I like ice cream!

ELAINE. [To TOOTS.] Sh!

PHILIP.  What comes next, Moles?

MOLES.  I don’t know, sir.

[He goes out.

ELAINE.  T’ain’t manners to ask, anyway, Phil.

PHILIP.  Who cares!  It’s my birthday!

CHRISTOPHER.  When will it be my birthday?

[The FOOTMAN reenters with plates, followed by MOLES, with silver dish of croquettes.

PHILIP.  Here it comes; what is it?

MOLES.  Chicken croquettes, sir.

PHILIP.  Left overs!  Had chicken yesterday!  Bring ’em here first!

MOLES.  No, ladies first, sir.

[Serves ELAINE.

LIZZIE.  And besides, Miss Elaine is company.

[MOLES serves CHRISTOPHER.

PHILIP.  That’s all right.  S’long it’s Elaine, everything goes!

ELAINE.  Phil!

[Sliding down from her chair, she runs to him and kisses him.

PHILIP. [Hopelessly embarrassed.] Don’t! not in front of everybody!

ELAINE.  But I do love you, Phil, and you’re my beau, and I’m so glad it’s your birthday.

[Goes back to her place unashamed and contented.

[MOLES serves PHILIP.

LIZZIE.  You oughtn’t to talk about beaux at your age, Miss—­ought Miss
Elaine?

[To MOLES with a knowing glance.

MOLES.  I ain’t discussing the sex with you, Lizzie, but I will say all the girls I’ve known, began talking about beaux early and ended late.

CHRISTOPHER.  I heard Lizzie and Moles talking about Aunt Georgiana’s beau!

LIZZIE.  Sh!

[FOOTMAN goes out with the croquette dish.

ELAINE.  Mr. Dick Coleman’s Miss Carley’s beau!

PHILIP.  No, he isn’t!  Mr. Dick’s known Aunt Georgiana always, they’re just little boy and girl friends.  Lizzie says she’s Cousin Sammy Coast’s sweetheart.

LIZZIE. [Indignant, though convulsed.] I never did!

PHILIP.  Yes, you did!  To Maggie when you thought I wasn’t paying attention.