DICK.  Still—­I think I’m more comfortable up here.

GEORGIANA.  Selfish!  Go on away! [DICK shakes his head.] Children, if you love your auntie, go for Mr. Dick with all your might and main and push him into the hall.

[The children shout and rush toward DICK; they catch hold of him.

THE CHILDREN.  Go away!

DICK. [With mock ferocity.] The first child I get hold of I’ll spank!

[The children laugh and shout and run away from him to behind the table.

THE CHILDREN.  Spank!

GEORGIANA.  Ogre!  Very well!  After all, I’m not vain!  It would take
Barnum’s human snake to get out of this gracefully, anyway!

[Coming out, arranging her dress and hair.

DICK.  Have some help?

GEORGIANA.  No, thank you.  But still, what a horrid person you are, aren’t you?

[They both laugh.

DICK. You aren’t!

GEORGIANA.  O dear me!  Making up now with a compliment!  Well, what do you think of my birthday antics?  Playing hide and seek—­or, perhaps, trained elephants—­doesn’t interest you!

CHRISTOPHER.  Lelephants!  Oh, Auntie!  Is the circus coming?

[The children give themselves up to transports. PHIL hugs TOOTS and repeats “Circus."

GEORGIANA.  No, darling, but this circus is going—­your old-maid aunt—­to put herself to rights!

DICK.  You couldn’t improve on present appearances!

GEORGIANA.  Really!  Such fine speeches!  But they don’t go with your manners!  Would you like to join in the game?

PHILIP.  Oh, yes!  Hurrah!

[Runs to DICK, when MRS. CARLEY comes in from the Left.

MRS. CARLEY.  Well!  What’s going on?

PHILIP.  Birthdays!

MRS. CARLEY.  Not for me!

GEORGIANA.  Don’t you want to play hide and go seek, mother?

MRS. CARLEY.  I’m playing it all the time with old age!  That’s enough!

GEORGIANA.  Well, excuse me, please, while I repair damages.

[She goes out Right.

DICK. [Calls.] Come back.

CHILDREN. [Calling.] Come back!

MRS. CARLEY.  I want the children for a few minutes.

THE CHILDREN. [Disappointed.] Oh, Grannie!

[She goes to children and drives them off Left ahead of her.

THE CHILDREN.  Oh, Grandma!

MRS. CARLEY.  Mrs. Vale is downstairs with the twins, to wish Phil many happy returns.

[The children go out Left unwillingly. MRS. CARLEY comes back.

DICK.  Going to spoil our game, Grandma?

MRS. CARLEY.  Don’t you grandma me!  You’re old enough for me to marry you.

DICK.  Help!

MRS. CARLEY.  Don’t worry!  Having lost two good husbands, I’m not going to risk losing a third.