“‘Our ways lie apart now, old melon,’ I said, ’and I should advise you to follow my example and get your batman to keep the count.  Otherwise your play will be affected by arithmetical troubles.’

“Accompanied by my faithful Wilkins I found my ball and reviewed the situation.  The driver and hockey stick were hopeless for mashie shots, but Wilkins reported a practicable C.T. a few yards to the right, leading to the front line, and some gently sloping revetting from thence to the level.  Luckily the C.T. had plenty of length to each traverse, and when I emerged in the open with my sixty-seventh Laxey was only just getting clear of the huts, having been badly bunkered in the coal dump.  He made good progress from there, but I got into the rough—­a regular Gruyere of shell-holes.  While I was attempting to hack my way through I heard a delighted gurgle of laughter and turned round to see half-a-dozen of the Chinks sitting on their hams and watching me with undisguised jubilation.

“‘Send them away, Wilkins,’ I said irritably.  ’Can’t you see they’re putting me off my game?’

“Wilkins shoved them off, and I took the old German line with a rush.  While I was so to speak consolidating, a runner arrived from Laxey asking for the loan of a pair of wire-cutters.

“’’E’s ‘ung up on the wire, Sir,’ said the runner, ‘an’ cursing the artillery somethink awful from force of ‘abit.’

“I sent a pair of nail-scissors with my compliments, and would Mr. Laxey kindly inform me what was his score to date?  Laxey returned the scissors, saying that he found he could manage better with a tie-clip, and his score at 15.30 hours was 346, please.  Cheered by the knowledge that I was a matter of twenty to the good, I executed a brilliant dribble along a ditch, neatly tricked a couple of saplings and finished with a long spinning-jenny into a camouflaged strong point.  By this time Wilkins was in such a maze of mathematics that he hadn’t time to scare off the coolies, who were tumbling up in large numbers and giving a generous meed of applause.

“Towards the 400 Laxey, who also had a good gallery of Chinks, was losing touch, and I advised him by runner to change direction.  He thanked me, but said that, in view of the difficult nature of the terrain, he had decided to work round from a flank.  Feeling that I was nearing the objective I organised a series of approach-shots with the driver, and sent to ask Laxey if he would care to accept fifty start.  However, having foozled into a ruined pillbox, I reduced the offer by half, and later on, confident—­not to say insulting—­reports from Laxey induced me to withdraw the concession altogether.

“At 16.30 hours precisely, amid intense excitement on the part of the Celestial audience, we arrived at the deciding crump-hole simultaneously.  When I say we arrived, I mean that Laxey had an eight-yard putt from a good lie—­an easy proposition with the whangee putter—­and I was ten yards away in as wicked a little crevice as you could wish to find.