* * *

The so-called “pneumonia” blouse is conducive to health, declares the Medical Research Committee.  On the other hand the sunstroke cravat continues to prove fatal in a great number of cases.

* * *

A Swansea man who went to his allotment to dig up some parsnips and ended by taking three cabbages from a neighbour’s plot has been fined ten pounds.  We approve of the sentence.  A man who deliberately associates with parsnips should be shown no mercy.

* * *

A news message states that passports enabling Mr. Ramsay MACDONALD to proceed to Russia have been refused.  As a result we understand that the well-known Socialist has threatened to remain in this country.

* * *

Greenwich Council has refused a war trophy, consisting of a hundred bayonets.  It appears that in those parts they still adhere to the fantastic theory that the chronometer won the War.

* * *

A novel idea is reported from a small town in Norfolk.  It appears that at the annual fancy-dress ball all the inhabitants clubbed together and went as a Brontosaurus.

* * *

The Hotel Metropole has now been vacated by the Government, and it is thought that, as soon as the extra sleeping accommodation has been cleared away, it will be used as an hotel once again.

* * *

We understand there is no truth in the rumour that Mr. Albert de Courville has offered the ex-Kaiser a leading part in his revue, Come Over Here.

* * *

A correspondent points out in The Daily Express that there are five Sundays in the present month.  We understand however that Mr. Winston Churchill is not to blame this time.

* * * * *

Our cynics.

“It is stated that the management of the Isle of Man Steam Packet Co. intend to change the name of the newly-acquired steamer Onward to something more in keeping with the traditions of the Company.”—­Ramsey Courier.

* * * * *

    “Serious complaint is being made at another recurrence of the failure
    of the electric light in ——.  It is no light matter.”—­Local Paper.

It wouldn’t be.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  Benevolent deck-hand (to solitary small boy). “’Ullo, Beatty!  Where’s Yer Pa?”

Small boy.  “Up at the Sharp end, leaning over the PALINGS.”]

* * * * *

Of certain BRUTUSES who missed their Mark.

["Coalition doomed.”—­Poster of “Evening News."

“Coalition death sentence.”—­"Times’” Headline on Mr. ASQUITH at Paisley.