this?  We women have but a short life, at the best.  How much?  Ten good years!  Why should we fill them with vexation?  I was like you.  But, one fine morning, I made the acquaintance of Madame de Fischtaminel, a charming woman, who taught me how to make a husband happy.  Since then, Adolphe has changed radically; he has become perfectly delightful.  He is the first to say to me, with anxiety, with alarm, even, when I am going to the theatre, and he and I are still alone at seven o’clock:  “Ferdinand is coming for you, isn’t he?” Doesn’t he, Ferdinand?

FERDINAND.  We are the best cousins in the world.

THE INDIAN SUMMER WIFE, very much affected.  Shall I ever come to that?

THE HUSBAND, on the Italian Boulevard.  My dear boy [he has button-holed Monsieur de Fischtaminel], you still believe that marriage is based upon passion.  Let me tell you that the best way, in conjugal life, is to have a plenary indulgence, one for the other, on condition that appearances be preserved.  I am the happiest husband in the world.  Caroline is a devoted friend, she would sacrifice everything for me, even my cousin Ferdinand, if it were necessary:  oh, you may laugh, but she is ready to do anything.  You entangle yourself in your laughable ideas of dignity, honor, virtue, social order.  We can’t have our life over again, so we must cram it full of pleasure.  Not the smallest bitter word has been exchanged between Caroline and me for two years past.  I have, in Caroline, a friend to whom I can tell everything, and who would be amply able to console me in a great emergency.  There is not the slightest deceit between us, and we know perfectly well what the state of things is.  We have thus changed our duties into pleasures.  We are often happier, thus, than in that insipid season called the honey-moon.  She says to me, sometimes, “I’m out of humor, go away.”  The storm then falls upon my cousin.  Caroline never puts on her airs of a victim, now, but speaks in the kindest manner of me to the whole world.  In short, she is happy in my pleasures.  And as she is a scrupulously honest woman, she is conscientious to the last degree in her use of our fortune.  My house is well kept.  My wife leaves me the right to dispose of my reserve without the slightest control on her part.  That’s the way of it.  We have oiled our wheels and cogs, while you, my dear Fischtaminel, have put gravel in yours.

CHORUS, in a parlor during a ball.  Madame Caroline is a charming woman.

A WOMAN IN A TURBAN.  Yes, she is very proper, very dignified.

A WOMAN WHO HAS SEVEN CHILDREN.  Ah! she learned early how to manage her husband.

ONE OF FERDINAND’S FRIENDS.  But she loves her husband exceedingly.  Besides, Adolphe is a man of great distinction and experience.

ONE OF MADAME DE FISCHTAMINEL’S FRIENDS.  He adores his wife.  There’s no fuss at their house, everybody is at home there.