John was quick, and understood his business very well, but no man alive was more careless in looking into his accounts, or more cheated by partners, apprentices, and servants.  This was occasioned by his being a boon companion, loving his bottle and his diversion; for, to say truth, no man kept a better house than John, nor spent his money more generously.  By plain and fair dealing John had acquired some plums, and might have kept them had it not been for his unhappy lawsuit.

Nic.  Frog was a cunning, sly fellow, quite the reverse of John in many particulars; covetous, frugal, minded domestic affairs, would pinch his belly to save his pocket, never lost a farthing by careless servants or bad debtors.  He did not care much for any sort of diversion, except tricks of high German artists and legerdemain.  No man exceeded Nic. in these; yet it must be owned that Nic. was a fair dealer, and in that way acquired immense riches.

Hocus was an old cunning attorney, and though this was the first considerable suit that ever he was engaged in, he showed himself superior in address to most of his profession.  He kept always good clerks, he loved money, was smooth-tongued, gave good words, and seldom lost his temper.  He was not worse than an infidel, for he provided plentifully for his family, but he loved himself better than them all.  The neighbours reported that he was henpecked, which was impossible, by such a mild-spirited woman as his wife was.

[Footnote 171:  late King of Spain.]

[Footnote 172:  Cardinal Portocarero.]

[Footnote 173:  The first letters of congratulation from King William and the States of Holland upon King Philip’s accession to the crown of Spain.]

[Footnote 174:  The English.]

[Footnote 175:  The Dutch.]

[Footnote 176:  The character and trade of the French nation.]

[Footnote 177:  The King’s disposition to war.]

[Footnote 178:  The sentiments and addresses of the Parliament at that time.]

[Footnote 179:  Characters of the English and Dutch, and the General, Duke of Marlborough.]

XXV.  EPITAPH UPON COLONEL CHARTRES.

    Swift was reported to have had a hand in this piece, and indeed for
    some time it was ascribed to him.  But there is now no doubt that it
    was entirely the work of Arbuthnot.

Here continueth to rot the body of Francis Chartres; who, with an inflexible constancy and inimitable uniformity of life, persisted, in spite of age and infirmities, in the practice of every human vice excepting prodigality and hypocrisy:  his insatiable avarice exempted him from the first, his matchless impudence from the second.

Nor was he more singular in the undeviating pravity of his manners, than successful in accumulating wealth.

For, without trade or profession, without trust of public money, and without bribe-worthy service, he acquired, or more properly created, a ministerial estate.