As I knew him to be an harmless, amusing little thing, I could not return his smiles with any degree of severity:  so we walked forward on terms of the utmost intimacy, and in a few minutes discussed all the usual topics preliminary to particular conversation.

The oddities that marked his character, however, soon began to appear; he bowed to several well-dressed persons, who, by their manner of returning the compliment, appeared perfect strangers.  At intervals he drew out a pocket-book, seeming to take memorandums before all the company, with much importance and assiduity.  In this manner he led me through the length of the whole walk, fretting at his absurdities, and fancying myself laughed at not less than him by every spectator.

When we were got to the end of our procession, “Blast me,” cries he, with an air of vivacity, “I never saw the park so thin in my life before; there’s no company at all to-day; not a single face to be seen.”  “No company,” interrupted I, peevishly; “no company where there is such a crowd! why man, there’s too much.  What are the thousands that have been laughing at us but company!” “Lard, my dear,” returned he, with the utmost good-humour, “you seem immensely chagrined; but blast me, when the world laughs at me, I laugh at all the world, and so we are even.  My Lord Trip, Bill Squash, the Creolian, and I sometimes make a party at being ridiculous; and so we say and do a thousand things for the joke.  But I see you are grave, and if you are a fine grave sentimental companion, you shall dine with me and my wife to-day, I must insist on’t; I’ll introduce you to Mrs. Tibbs, a lady of as elegant qualifications as any in nature; she was bred, but that’s between ourselves, under the inspection of the Countess of All-night.  A charming body of voice, but no more of that, she will give us a song.  You shall see my little girl too, Carolina Wilhelma Amelia Tibbs, a sweet pretty creature; I design her for my Lord Drumstick’s eldest son, but that’s in friendship, let it go no farther; she’s but six years old, and yet she walks a minuet, and plays on the guitar immensely already.  I intend she shall be as perfect as possible in every accomplishment.  In the first place I’ll make her a scholar; I’ll teach her Greek myself, and learn that language purposely to instruct her; but let that be a secret.”

Thus saying, without waiting for a reply, he took me by the arm, and hauled me along.  We passed through many dark alleys and winding ways; for, from some motives, to me unknown, he seemed to have a particular aversion to every frequented street; at last, however, we got to the door of a dismal-looking house in the outlets of the town, where he informed me he chose to reside for the benefit of the air.

We entered the lower door, which ever seemed to lie most hospitably open, and I began to ascend an old and creaking staircase, when, as he mounted to show me the way, he demanded whether I delighted in prospects, to which answering in the affirmative, “Then,” says he, “I shall show you one of the most charming in the world out of my windows; we shall see the ships sailing, and the whole country for twenty miles round, tip top, quite high.  My Lord Swamp would give ten thousand guineas for such an one; but as I sometimes pleasantly tell him, I always love to keep my prospects at home, that my friends may see me the oftener.”