XLII.  THE LOGICIANS REFUTED.

This piece was first printed in The Busy Body in 1759, in direct imitation of the style of Swift.  It was, therefore, improperly included in the Dublin edition of Swift’s works, and in the edition of Swift edited by Sir Walter Scott.

Logicians have but ill defined As rational the human mind, Reason they say belongs to man, But let them prove it if they can, Wise Aristotle and Smiglesius By ratiocinations specious Have strove to prove with great precision, With definition and division, Homo est ratione preditum; But for my soul I cannot credit ’em.  And must in spite of them maintain, That man and all his ways are vain:  And that this boasted lord of nature Is both a weak and erring creature.  That instinct is a surer guide Than reason, boasting mortals’ pride; And that brute beasts are far before ’em, Deus est anima brutorum.  Who ever knew an honest brute At law his neighbour prosecute.  Bring action for assault and battery, Or friend beguile with lies and flattery?  O’er plains they ramble unconfin’d.  No politics disturb the mind; They eat their meals, and take their sport, Nor know who’s in or out at court; They never to the levee go To treat as dearest friend, a foe; They never importune his Grace, Nor ever cringe to men in place; Nor undertake a dirty job, Nor draw the quill to write for Bob:  Fraught with invective they ne’er go To folks at Pater-Noster Row:  No judges, fiddlers, dancing-masters, No pickpockets, or poetasters, Are known to honest quadrupeds, No single brute his fellows leads.  Brutes never meet in bloody fray, Nor cut each other’s throats for pay.  Of beasts, it is confess’d, the ape Comes nearest us in human shape.  Like man he imitates each fashion, And malice is his ruling passion; But both in malice and grimaces, A courtier any ape surpasses.  Behold him humbly cringing wait Upon the minister of state; View him soon after to inferiors Aping the conduct of superiors:  He promises with equal air, And to perform takes equal care.  He in his turn finds imitators, At court, the porters, lacqueys, waiters, Their master’s manners still contract, And footmen, lords and dukes can act, Thus at the court both great and small Behave alike, for all ape all.

XLIII.  BEAU TIBBS, HIS CHARACTER AND FAMILY.

Johnson always maintained that there was a great deal of Goldsmith’s own nature and eccentricities portrayed in the character of Beau Tibbs.  The following piece constitutes Letter 54 of the Citizen of the World.

I am apt to fancy I have contracted a new acquaintance, whom it will be no easy matter to shake off.  My little beau yesterday overtook me again in one of the public walks, and slapping me on the shoulder, saluted me with an air of the most perfect familiarity.  His dress was the same as usual, except that he had more powder in his hair, wore a dirtier shirt, a pair of temple spectacles, and his hat under his arm.