“And you are not married?” ventured the lady, with a tremor of hesitation in her voice. She had rushed on her destruction unawares.
“No—no,” replied the man who had once wanted to marry her. “And at this moment I’m very glad I’m not.”
“Oh, are you? Why?” exclaimed the foolish woman. “Don’t you believe in marriage?”
“In the abstract—oh, yes,” said Mr Ogilvie, with meaning. “But my chance of married happiness escaped me years ago.”
Aunt Charlotte blushed hotly. She felt angry with herself for having given him an opening for such a remark, and annoyed with him for taking advantage of it. “Let me give you some more tea,” she said.
“Thank you so much, but I never exceed two cups,” replied Mr Ogilvie, who did not particularly care for tea. “And yet there comes a time, you know, when the sight of so peaceful and attractive a home as this makes one wish that one had one like it of one’s own. Of course a man has his tastes, his hobbies, his ambitions—every man, I mean, of character. And I am a man of character. But indulgence in a hobby is not incompatible with the love of a fireside, and the blessings of dulce domum, to say nothing of the placens uxor, who is the only true goddess of the hearth. Yes, dear friend, I confess that I should like—that I positively long—to marry. That is why, paradoxical as it may appear, I congratulate myself on not being married already. But, of course, in all such cases, the man himself is not the only factor to be reckoned with. The lady must be found, and the lady’s consent obtained. And there we have the rub.”
“Dear me! how very unfortunate!” was all Aunt Charlotte could think of to remark. “And can’t you find the lady?”
“I thought I had found her once,” said Mr Ogilvie.
Then he deliberately rose from his chair, brushed a few crumbs from his coat, and took a few steps up and down the room. “Listen to me, dear friend,” he began, in low, earnest tones. “There was a time—far be it from me to take undue advantage of these reminiscences—when you and I were thrown considerably together. At that time, that far-off, happy, and yet most tantalising time, I was bold enough to cherish certain aspirations.” Here he took up his position behind a chair, resting his hands lightly on the back of it. “That those aspirations were not wholly unsuspected by you I had reason to believe. I may, of course, have been mistaken; love, or vanity if you prefer it, may blind the wisest of us. In any case, if I was vain, my pride came to the rescue, and sooner than incur the humiliation of a refusal—possibly a scornful refusal—I kept my secret locked in the inmost sanctuary of my heart, and went away.” Mr Ogilvie illustrated his disappearance into vacancy by a slight but most expressive gesture of his arms. “I simply went away. And now I have come back. I have unburdened myself before you. In the years that are past, I was silent. Now I have spoken. And I am here to know what answer you have in your heart to give me.”