Soon after my arrival in our town a score of young lieutenants came to our parade ground, accompanied by two commanders, a keen-eyed adjutant, brisk as a bell, and a white-haired colonel with very thin legs, and putties which seemed to have been glued on to his shins.  The young gentlemen were destined for various regiments, and most of them were fresh and spotless in their new uniforms.  Some wore Glengarry bonnets, kilts, and sporrans, some the black ribbons of Wales; one, whose hat-badge proclaimed the Dublin Fusilier, was conspicuous by the eyeglass he wore, and others were still arrayed in civilian garb, the uniform of city and office life.  Several units of my battalion were taken off to drill in company with the strange officers.  I was one of the chosen.

The young men took us in hand, acting in turn as corporals, platoon sergeants, and company commanders.  The gentleman with the eyeglass had charge of my platoon, and from the start he cast surreptitious glances at a little red brochure which he held in his hand, and mumbled words as if trying to commit something to memory.

“Get to your places,” the adjutant yelled to the officers.  “Hurry up!  Don’t stand there gaping as if you’re going to snap at flies.  We’ve got to do some work.  There’s no hay for those who don’t work.  Come on, Weary, and drill your men; you with the eyeglass, I mean!  I want you to put the company through some close column movements.”

The man with the eyeglass took up his position, and issued some order, but his voice was so low that the men nearest him could not hear the command.

“Shout!” yelled the adjutant.  “Don’t mumble like a flapper who has just got her first kiss.  It’s not allowed on parade.”

The order was repeated, and the voice raised a little.

“Louder, louder!” yelled the adjutant.  Then with fine irony:  “These men are very interested in what you’ve got to tell them....  I don’t think.”

Eyeglass essayed another attempt, but stopped in the midst of his words, frozen into mute helplessness by the look of the adjutant.

“For heaven’s sake, try and speak up,” the adjutant said.  “If you don’t talk like a man, these fellows won’t salute you when they meet you in the street with your young lady.  On second thoughts, you had better go back and take up the job of platoon sergeant.  Come on, Glengarry, and try and trumpet an order.”

Glengarry, so-called from his bonnet, a sturdy youth with sloping shoulders, took up his post nervously.

“A close column forming column of fours,” he cried in a shrill treble, quoting the cautionary part of his command.  “Advance in fours from the right; form fours—­right!”

“Form fours—­where?” roared the adjutant.

“Left,” came the answer.

“Left, your grandmother!  You were right at first.  Did you not know that you were right?...  Where’s Eyeglass, the platoon sergeant, now?  Who’s pinched him?”