“The third damsel is by no means so, well adapted for Phelim as either of the other two.  What she could have seen in him is another problem much more difficult than the one I have mentioned.  I would advise her to reconsider the subject, and let Phelim have the full benefit of the attention she may bestow upon it.  If she finds the ‘Patriarch’ possessed of any one virtue, except necessity, I will admit that it is pretty certain that she will soon discover the longitude, and that has puzzled the most learned men of the world.  If she marries this ‘Patriarch’, I think the angels who may visit him will come in the shape of policemen; and that Phelim, so long as he can find a cudgel, will give them anything but a patriarchal reception, is another thing of which we may rest pretty certain.

“I. now publish the bans of matrimony between Phelim O’Toole of Teernarogarah, and Bridget Doran of Dernascobe.  If any person knows of any impediment why these two should not be joined in wedlock, they are bound to declare it.

“This Bridget Doran, my friends, is no other than my old housekeeper; but when, where, or how, Phelim could have won upon her juvenile affections is one of those mysteries which is never to be explained.  I dare say, the match was brought about by despair on her side, and necessity on his.  She despaired of getting a husband, and he had a necessity for the money.  In point of age I admit she would make a very fit wife for any ‘Patriarch.’”

Language could not describe the effect which this disclosure produced upon the congregation.  The fancy of every one present was tickled at the idea of a union between Phelim and the old woman.  It was followed by roars of laughter which lasted several minutes.

“Oh, thin, the curse o’ the crows upon him, was he only able to butther up the ould woman!  Oh, Ghe dldven! that flogs.  Why, it’s a wondher he didn’t stale the ould slip, an’ make a run-away match of it—­ha, ha, ha!  Musha, bad scran to her, but she had young notions of her own!  A purty bird she picked up in Phelim!—­ha, ha, ha!”

“I also publish the banns of matrimony between Phelim O’Toole of Teernarogarah and Sally Flattery of the same place.  If any of you knows of any impediment why they should not be joined in wedlock you are bound to declare it.”

The mirth rose again, loud and general.  Poodle Flattery, whose character was so well known, appeared so proper a father-in-law for Phelim, that his selection in this instance delighted them highly.

“Betther an’ betther, Phelim!  More power to you!  You’re fixed at last.  Poodle Flattery’s daughter—­a known thief!  Well, what harm?  Phelim himself has pitch on his fingers—­or had, anyhow, when he was growin’ up—­for many a thing stuck to them.  Oh, bedad, now we know what his Reverence was at when he talked about the ’Sizes, bad luck to them!  Betune her an’ the ould woman, Phelim ’ud be in Paradise!  Foodie Flattery’s daughter!  Begad, she’ll ‘bring him property’ sure enough, as his Reverence says.”