Phelim Otoole's Courtship and Other Stories eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 520 pages of information about Phelim Otoole's Courtship and Other Stories.

Phelim Otoole's Courtship and Other Stories eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 520 pages of information about Phelim Otoole's Courtship and Other Stories.

“A most solemn and solemnious promise, that was what I said; never again by night or day, wet or dry, high or low, in or out, up or down, here or there, to—­to—­get himself snimicated wid any liquorary fluid whatsomever, be the same more or less, good, bad, or indifferent, hot or could, thick or thin, black or white—­”

“Have done, Harte; quit your cursed sniftherin’, an’ spake like a Christian; do you think you can manage to circumsniffle him agin?”

“Ay,” said Harte, “or any man that ever trod on neat’s leather—­barrin’ one.”

“And who is that one?”

“That one, sir—­that one—­do you ax me who that one is?”

“Have you no ears?  To be sure I do.”

“Then, Skinadre, I’ll tell you—­I’ll tell you, sarra,”—­we ought to add here, that Harte was a first-rate mimic, and was now doing a drunken man,—­“I’ll tell you, sarra—­that person was Nelson on the top of the monument in Sackville street—­no—­no—­I’m wrong; I could make poor ould Horace drunk any time, an’ often did—­an’ many a turn-tumble he got off the monument at night, and the divil’s own throuble I had in gettin’ him up on it before mornin’, bekaise you all know he’d be cashiered, or, any way, brought to coort martial for leavin’ his po-po-post.”

“Well, if Nelson’s not the man, who is?”

Drywig’s his name,” replied Harte; “you all know one Drywig, don’t you?”

“Quit your cursed stuff, Harte,” said a new speaker, named Garvey; “if you think you can dose him, say so, and if not, let us have no more talk about it.”

“Faith, an’ it’ll be a nice card to play,” replied Harte, resuming his natural voice; “but at all events, if you will all drop into Garvey’s lodgins and mine, to-morrow evenin’, you may find him there; but don’t blame me if I fail.”

“No one’s goin’ to blame you,” said Slanty, “an’ the devil’s own pity it is that that blasted Drywig of a brother of his keeps him in leadin’ strings the way he does.”

“The way I’ll do is this:  I’ll ask him up to look at the pattern of my new waistcoat, an’ wanst I get him in, all I have to do is to lay it on thick.”

“I doubt that,” said another, who had joined them; “when he came here first, and for a long time afther, soapin’ him might do; but I tell you his eye’s open—­it’s no go—­he’s wide awake now.”

“Shut your orifice,” said Harte; “lave the thing to me; ’twas I did it before, although he doesn’t think so, an’ it’s I that will do it again, although he doesn’t think so.  Haven’t I been for the last mortal month guardin’ him aginst yez, you villains?”

“To-morrow evenin’?”

“Ay, to-morrow evenin’; an’ if we don’t give him a gauliogue that’ll make him dance the circumbendibus widout music—­never believe that my name’s any thing else than Tom Thin, that got thick upon spring wather.  Hello! there’s the bell, boys, so mind what I tould yez; we’ll give him a farewell benefit, if it was only for the sake of poor Drywig.  Ah, poor Drywig! how will he live widout him?  Ochone, ochone! ha, ha, ha!”

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Phelim Otoole's Courtship and Other Stories from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.