* This sound, which expresses wonder, is produced by
     striking the tip of the tongue against the palate.

“But suppose a man hasn’t money, what is he to do?  Now this divides itself into what is called Hydrostatics an’ Metaphuysics, and must be proved logically in the following manner: 

“First, we suppose him not to have the money—­there I may be wrong or I may be right; now for the illustration and the logic.

“Pether Donovan.”

“Here, your Reverence.”

“Now, Pether, if I suppose you to have no money, am I right, or am I wrong?”

“Why, thin, I’d be sarry to prove your Reverence to be wrong, so I would; but, for all that, I believe I must give it aginst you.”

“How much have you got, Pether?”

“Ethen, but ‘tis your Reverence that’s comin’ close upon me; two or three small note an’ some silver.”

“How much silver, Pether?”

“I’ll tell your Reverence in a jiffy—­I ought to have a ten shillin’, barring the price of a quarther o’ tobaccy that I bought at the crass-roads boyant.  Nine shillins an’ somo hapuns, yer Reverence.”

“Very good, Pether, you must hand me the silver, till I give the rest of the illustration wid it.”

“But does your Reverence mind another ould proverb?—­’a fool an’ his money’s asy parted.’  Sure an’ I know you’re goin’ to do a joke upon me.”

("Give him the money, Pether,” from a hundred voices—­“give his Reverence the money, you nager you—­give him the silver, you dirty spalpeen you—­hand it out, you misert.”)

“Pether, if you don’t give it dacently, I’ll not take it; and in that case—­”

“Here, here, your Reverence—­here it is; sure I wouldn’t have your ill-will for all I’m worth.”

“Why, you nager, if I wasn’t the first orathor livin’, barrin’ Cicero or Demosthenes himself, I couldn’t schrew a penny out o’ you!  Now, Pether, there’s a specimen of logic for you; an’ if it wasn’t good, depind upon it the money would be in your pocket still.  I’ve never known you to give a penny for any charitable purpose, since ever I saw your face:  but I’m doin’ a good action in your behalf for once; so if you have any movin’ words to say to the money in question, say them, for you’ll never finger it more.”

A burst of the most uproarious mirth followed this manoeuvre, in which the simple priest himself joined heartily; whilst the melancholy of Peter’s face was ludicrously contrasted with the glee which characterized those who surrounded him.

“Hem!—­Secondly—­A man, you see, may have money, or he may not, when his follow creature who stands in need of it makes an appale to his dacency and his feelings; and sorry I’d be to think that there’s a man before me, or a woman either, who’d refuse to assist the distresses of any one, of any creed, church, or persuasion, whether white, black, or yallow—­no; I don’t except even the blue-bellies themselves.  It’s