The Tithe-Proctor eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 445 pages of information about The Tithe-Proctor.

The Tithe-Proctor eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 445 pages of information about The Tithe-Proctor.

“I beg your pardon, sir,” replied Purcel, with a smile, “I believe not.”

“I mane, John,” said the other, “an improper use of it is.  You should be more cautious, John, in using it, for the punishment of any animal barring a horse.  I have heard, by the way, many complaints against you on that head.”

“Yes, sir, but you are not aware that it is from a principle of humanity I horsewhip the scoundrels.”

“How is that now, John? for upon my honor and conscience I can’t for the life of me persave any great humanity in it.”

“Why, sir,” replied Purcel, who, as the reader must be aware, was humbugging the worthy magistrate all the time, “I appeal to yourself whether it is not better for any one of these rascals to get a horsewhipping from me than a citation to the Bishop’s Court from my father.”

“Ay, but do they never happen to get both, John?” returned the magistrate.  “But what has a horsewhipping and a citaytion to the Bishop’s Court to do with aich other?”

“Simply this,” replied the other, “that when my father hears I horsewhip any of them, he takes no further proceedings against them; and whenever I wish, consequently, to keep a fellow out of that troublesome situation, I horsewhip him from pure kindness.”

“So that you look upon that as a good turn to them?”

“Precisely, sir.  As I said, I horsewhip them from motives of humanity.”

“Faith and don’t be surprised, John, if they should happen to put a bullet through you from motives of humanity some of these days.  However, do you think it is of importance?”

“Is what, sir?”

“The conspiracy.  I beg your pardon—­come into the office till I see what I can do for you at all events.”

He accordingly preceded Purcel to his office, accompanied by Sam Finigan, a kind of thorough male domestic who acted as his clerk.  Here he took his seat with a good deal of ceremony, hemmed several times, and desired Hourigan to be admitted.  Just at that moment, and while Hourigan was coming in, a young lad, or tiger, a son of Finigan’s, by the way, who had been in the habit of carrying letters to and from the neighboring post-office, now entered and presented him with one, to the following effect:—­

“TO O’DRISKAL, THE SHONEEN MAGISTRIDGE.

“Sur this is to let you no that if you go an givin wan la for the poor and anud’her for the rich you will soon get a bullet through you as Tandrem af Tavnibeg got.  If you wish to bay safe thin bay the poor man’s friend—­oderways it’ll be worse for you.

“Kaptn Jostige.”

O’Driscol having read this communication, became desperately disturbed for about a couple of minutes, after which, as if struck by some sudden thought, he appeared to recover himself considerably, but by no means fully, as was evident from the agitation of his voice and the involuntary tremor of his hands.

“I hope, sir,” said Purcel, who could not help observing the commotion into which the notice had put him, “that you have received no ill tidings.  You seem agitated and alarmed, or rather distressed, if one can judge; I hope there’s nothing wrong.”

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The Tithe-Proctor from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.