you know, my dear M’Slime, that it could not proceed from either you or me.  You know that—­you feel it.  Now, what I would propose is this—­Lord Cumber has sufficient interest with the government, to have me—­all-unworthy as I am—­appointed a magistrate.  Let the government but hint to the chancellor, and the thing is done.  In that event, instead of giving him this large sum of money as a loan, let it go as a per contra to my appointment to the bench.  And there is another consideration by no means to be overlooked, which is, that by this arrangement the government would be certain to have in the commission a man who would prove himself one of the precise class which they stand in need of—­that is, a useful man, devoted to their wishes.

“Now, my dear M’Slime, I mention this to you with all the confidence of unshaken friendship.  From you these representations will go to his lordship with a much better grace than they would from me.  Tell him in your own peculiar way, that he shall have the two thousand for the magistracy.  That is my first object as his friend—­this once obtained, I have no doubt of seeing myself, ere long, a member of the grand panel, and capable of serving him still more extensively.

“Believe me to be,
“My dear M’Slime, &c,
“Valentine M’Clutchy.

“P.S.—­I heard you once express a wish about a certain farm—­but mum’s the word—­only this, I have something in my eye for you.”

Solomon M’Slime to the Right Hon. Lord Cumber:—­

“My Gracious Lord: 

“I, of course, cannot look upon the condition you annex to the appointment of the agent as unreasonable, although my friend M’Clutchy insists, he says, for the honor of the aristocracy, that it was a mistake on your lordship’s part, and that a loan only was meant.  Be this as it may, I humbly hope a thought has been vouchsafed to me, by which the matter may, under Providence, assume a more agreeable character for all parties.  Last night, my Lord, immediately after family worship, I found myself much refreshed in mind, but rather jaded in my poor sinful body, after the fatigues of the day—­for, indeed, I had ridden a good deal since morning.  However, I desired Susanna—­a pious young person, who acts as children’s maid, and understands my habits—­to procure me a little hot water and sugar, into which, out of a necessary regard for health, which is imposed as a duty on us all, I poured a little brandy, partly for sustainment and partly to qualify the water.  Having swallowed a little of this I found the two principles combine together, almost like kindred spirits, and consequently experienced both nourishment and edification from the draught.  It was then, my Lord, that it was given me to turn my mind upon the transaction alluded to, I mean the condition of paying two thousand pounds for the privilege of managing your property.  Indeed the thing was vouchsafed to me in this light;—­your property, my Lord, is not represented in the grand panel of the