“That, your worship,” replied the translator, “is no punishment at all; instead of that, it will be a pleasure to read my translation, and as you have pronounced her to be guilty, it goes in the very teeth of your decision.”

“What—­what—­what kind of language is this, sir?” exclaimed Sir Spigot Sputter!  “This is disrespect to the court, sir.  In the teeth of his decision!  His worship’s decision, sir, has no teeth.”

“Indeed, on second thoughts, I think not, sir,” replied, the indignant wit and translator; “it is indeed a very toothless decision, and exceedingly appropriate in passing sentence upon an old woman in the same state.”

“Eh—­eh,” said Sir Spigot, “which old woman? who do you mean, sir?  Yourself or the culprit?  Eh? eh?”

“Your worship forgets that there are four of us,” replied the translator.

“Well, sir! well, sir!  But as to the culprit—­that old woman there—­having no teeth, that is not her fault,” replied Sir Spigot; “if she hasn’t teeth, she has gum enough—­eh! eh! you must admit that, sir.”

“You all appear to have gum enough,” replied the wit, “and nothing but gum, only it is gum arabic to me, I know.”

“You have treated this court with disrespect, sir,” said Coke, very solemnly; “but the court will uphold its dignity.  In the meantime you are fined half-a-crown.”

“But, your worship,” whispered Darby, “this is the celebrated Dr. A——­, a very eminent man.”

“I have just heard, sir,” proceeded Coke, “from the senior officer of the court, that you are a very eminent man; it may be so, and I am very sorry for it.  I have never heard your name, however, nor a syllable of your literary reputation, before; but as it seems you are an eminent man, I take it for granted that it must be in a private and confidential way among your particular friends.  I will fine you, however, another half-crown for the eminence.”

“Well, gentlemen,” replied the doctor, “I have heard of many ’wise saws and modern instances,’ but—­”

“What do you mean, sir?” said Sir Spigot.  “Another insult!  You asserted, sir, already, that Mr. Coke’s decision had teeth—­”

“But I admitted my error,” replied the other.

“And now you mean to insinuate, I suppose, that his worship’s saws are handsaws.  You are fined another half-crown, sir, for the handsaw.”

“And another,” said Coke, “for the gum arabic.”

The doctor fearing that the fines would increase thick and threefold, forthwith paid them all, and retired indignantly from the court.

And thus was the author of certainly one of the most beautiful translations in any language, at least in his own opinion, treated by these two worthy administrators of the law. (* A fact.)

CHAPTER XXVI.  The Priest Returns Sir Thomas’s Money and Pistols

—­A Bit of Controversy—­A New Light Begins to Appear.