“He nearly always gave me an answer, and what is more, a satisfactory one, and well within the scope of my limited understanding.  These definite, satisfactory answers of his used to afford me great pleasure, it being quite a new experience for me to have all my questions answered for me in this way.  These answers, as I have said, were nearly always forthcoming, though indeed, on one or two occasions, in answer to an especially ridiculous query of mine he would answer, ’That is a very foolish question, Reggie.’  But this was very rare.

“I remember taking a great interest in what Dr. Wallace ate.  He had a hearty appetite, and was no believer in vegetarianism, for at lunch his diet consisted chiefly of cold beef, liberally seasoned with various sauces and relishes, also vinegar.  I used to gaze at these bottles with great admiration.  Whenever there were peas he used to take large quantities of sugar with them.  This greatly aroused my curiosity, and I questioned him about it.  ‘Why,’ said he, ’peas themselves contain sugar; it is, therefore, much more sensible to take sugar with them than salt.’  And he recounted an anecdote of how an eminent personage he had once dined with had been waited on with great respect and attention by all present, but salt was offered to him with the peas.  ’If you want to make me quite happy,’ said the great man, ’you will give me some sugar with my peas.’  His favourite drink, I remember, was Canary sack.

“He had a strongly humorous side, and always enjoyed a good laugh.  As an instance of this, I will recount the following incident:  When I had returned home after my first visit to ‘The Old Orchard,’ my sister, three years older than myself, and I had a heated argument on the subject of the number of stomachs in a cow.  I insisted it was three; she, on the other hand, held that it was seven.  After a long and fierce dispute, I exclaimed:  ’Well, let us write to Dr. Wallace, and he will settle it for us and tell us the real number.’  This we did, the brazen audacity of the proceeding not striking us at the time.  By return of post we received a letter which, alas!  I have unfortunately not preserved, but the substance of which I well remember.  ’Dear Irene and Reggie,’ it ran, ’Your dispute as to the number of stomachs which a cow possesses can be settled and rectified by a simple mathematical process usually called subtraction, thus: 

Irene’s Cow 7 stomachs
Reggie’s Cow 3 stomachs
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The Farmer’s cow 4 stomachs.

“Dr. Wallace then went on to explain the names and uses of the four stomachs.

“Two instances of his fun come to my mind as I write.  ‘Why,’ I asked, ‘do you sometimes take off your spectacles to read the paper?’ ’Because I can see better without ’em,’ he said.  ‘Then why,’ I asked again, ’do you ever wear them?’ ’Because I can see better with ’em,’ was the reply.  The other instance relates to chloroform.  He was describing the agonies suffered by those who had to undergo amputation before the discovery of anaesthetics, whereas nowadays, he said, ’you are put under chloroform, then wake up and find your arm cut off, having felt nothing.  Or you wake up and find your leg cut off.  Or you wake up and find your head cut off!’ He then laughed heartily at his own joke.