Joe. Don’t ye be in sech a ’urry, now—­the Show ain’t begun yet!

[Illustration:  “It’s quoite tri-ew!”]

    [The barrel-organ outside blares “God Save the Queen,” and
    more Spectators come stumping down the wooden steps, followed
    by the Showman.

Showman. I shell commence this Exhibition by inviting your inspection of the wonderful live ’orse with five legs. (To the depressed Cart-horse.) ’Old up! (The poor beast lifts his off-fore-leg with obvious reluctance, and discloses a very small supernumerary hoof concealed behind the fetlock.) Examine it! for yourselves—­two distinct ’oofs with shoes and nails complete—­a great novelty!

Melia. I don’t call that nothen of a leg, I don’t—­it ain’t ’ardly a oof, even!

Joe (with phlegm).  That’s wheer th’ old ’orse gits the larf on ye, that is!

Showman. We will now pass on to the Exhibition.  ’Ere (indicating a pair of lop-sided Orientals in nondescript attire) we ’ave two life-sized models of the Japanese villagers who caused so much sensation in London on account o’ their peculiar features—­you will easily reckernise the female by her bein’ the ugliest one o’ the two. (Compassionate titters from the Spectators.) I will now call your attention to a splendid group, taken from English ’Istry, and set in motion by powerful machinery, repperesentin’ the Parting Interview of CHARLES THE FIRST with his fam’ly. (Rolls up a painted canvas curtain, and reveals the Monarch seated, with the Duke of GLOUCESTER on his knee, surrounded by OLIVER CROMWELL, and as many Courtiers, Guards, and Maids of Honour as can be accommodated in the limited space.) I will wind up the machinery and the unfortunate King will be seen in the act of bidding his fam’ly ajew for ever in this world.

[CHARLES begins to click solemnly and move his head by progressive jerks to the right, while the Little Duke moves his simultaneously to the left, and a Courtier in the background is so affected by the scene that he points with respectful sympathy at nothing; the Spectators do not commit themselves to any comments.

Showman (concluding a quotation from MARKHAM).  “And the little Dook, with the tears a-standin’ in ’is heyes, replies, ’I will be tore in pieces fust!’” Other side, please!  No, Mum, the lady in mournin’ ain’t the beautiful but ill-fated MARY, Queen o’ Scots—­it’s Mrs. MAYBRICK, now in confinement for poisonin’ her ‘usban’, and the figger close to her is the MAHDI, or False Prophet.  In the next case we ’ave a subject selected from Ancient Roman ‘Istry, bein’ the story of ANDROCLES, the Roman Slave, as he appeared when, escaping from his crule owners, he entered a cave and found a lion which persented ’im with ‘is bleedin’ paw.  After some ’esitation, ANDROCLES examined the paw, as repperesented before you. (Winds the