“Rather,” said she, “where time is limited let us spread ourselves, so to speak, over the area of culture available.  This morning, for example, you, husband, might ramble round the Tower and try to picture the various tragedies that have been enacted there.  You, daughter, might go and bring us those impressions from St. Paul’s, while I will content myself with observing the manners of the British chambermaid.  So far, I must say, I think they are lovely.  Thus, each doing what he can and she can, we shall take back with us, as a family, more real benefit than we could possibly obtain if we all derived it from the same source.”

“No,” said poppa firmly.  “I take exception to your theory right there, Augusta.  Culture is a very harmless thing, and there’s no reason why you shouldn’t take it in, till your back gives out, every day we’re here.  But I consider that we’ve got the article in very good shape in our little town over there in Illinois, and personally I don’t propose to go nosing round after it in Europe.  And as a family man I should hate to be divided up for any such purpose.”

“Oh, if you’re going to steel yourself against it, my love——­”

“Now, what Bramley said to me the day before we sailed was this—­No, I’m not steeling myself against it; my every pore is open to it—­Bramley said:  ’Your time is limited, you can’t see everything.  Very well.  See the unique.  Keep that in mind,’ he said; ’the unique.  And you’ll be surprised to find how very little there is in the world, outside Chicago, that is unique.’”

“Applying that rule,” continued the Senator, strolling up and down, “the things to see in London are the Crystal Palace and the Albert Memorial.  Especially the Albert Memorial.  That was a man who played second fiddle to his wife, and enjoyed it, all his life long; and there he sits in Hyde Park to-day, I understand, still receiving the respectful homage of the nation—­the only case on record.”

“Westminster Abbey would be much better for you,” said momma.

“Don’t you think,” I put in, “that if momma is to get any sleep——­”

“Certainly.  Now, another thing that Bramley said was, ‘Look here,’ he said, ’remember the Unattainable Elsewhere—­and get it.  You’re likely to be in London.  Now the Unattainable Elsewhere, for that town, is gentlemen’s suitings.  For style, price, and quality of goods the London tailor leads the known universe.  Wick,’ he said—­he was terribly in earnest—­’if you have one hour in London, leave your measure!’”

“In that case,” said momma, sitting up and ascertaining the condition of her hair, “you would like me to be with you, love.”

Now, if momma doesn’t like poppa’s clothes, she always gives them away without telling him.  This would be thought arbitrary in England, and I have certainly known the Senator suddenly reduced to great destitution through it, but America is a free country, and there is no law to compel us to see our male relations unbecomingly clad against our will.