“No,” said Amroth, “not a bad thing at all:  because two things are going on.  Partly the framework of society and life is being made, so that men are not ground down into that sordid struggle, when little experience is possible because of the drudgery which clouds all the mind.  Though even that has its opportunities!  And all depends, for the individual, upon how he is doing his work.  If he has other people in mind all the time, and does his work for them, and not to be praised for it, then all is well.  But if he is thinking of his credit and his position, then he does not grow at all; that is pomposity—­a very youthful thing indeed; but the worst case of all is if a man sees that the world must be helped and made, and that one can win credit thus, and so engages in work of that kind, and deals in all the jargon of it, about using influence and living for others, when he is really thinking of himself all the time, and trying to keep the eyes of the world upon him.  But it is all growth really, though sometimes, as on the beach when the tide is coming in, the waves seem to draw backward from the land, and poise themselves in a crest of troubled water.”

“But is a great position in the world,” I said, “whether inherited or attained, a dangerous thing?”

“Nothing is dangerous, child,” he said.  “You must put all that out of your mind.  But men in high posts and stations are often not progressing evenly, only in great jogs and starts.  They learn very often, with a sudden surprise, which is not always painful, and sometimes is very beautiful and sweet, that all the ceremony and pomp, the great house, the bows and the smiles, mean nothing at all—­absolutely nothing, except the chance, the opportunity of not being taken in by them.  That is the use of all pleasures and all satisfactions—­the frame of mind which made the old king say, ’Is not this great Babylon, which I have builded?’—­they are nothing but the work of another class in the great school of life.  A great many people are put to school with self-satisfaction, that they may know the fine joy of humiliation, the delight of learning that it is not effectiveness and applause that matters, but love and peacefulness.  And the great thing is that we should feel that we are growing, not in hardness or indifference, nor necessarily even in courage or patience, but in our power to feel and our power to suffer.  As love multiplies, suffering must multiply too.  The very Heart of God is full of infinite, joyful, hopeful suffering; the whole thing is so vast, so slow, so quiet, that the end of suffering is yet far off.  But when we suffer, we climb fast; the spirit grows old and wise in faith and love; and suffering is the one thing we cannot dispense with, because it is the condition of our fullest and purest life.”

V

I said suddenly, “The joy of this place is not the security of it, but the fact that one has not to think about security.  I am not afraid of anything that may happen, and there is no weariness of thought.  One does not think till one is tired, but till one has finished thinking.”