But, alas! that poor unfortunate personage, like Figaro, knows not to whom to listen, nor where to turn.  The hundred thousand mouths of the press and of the platform cry out all at once:—­

“Organize labour and workmen.

“Do away with egotism.

“Repress insolence and the tyranny of capital.

“Make experiments upon manure and eggs.

“Cover the country with railways.

“Irrigate the plains.

“Plant the hills.

“Make model farms.

“Found social workshops.

“Colonize Algeria.

“Suckle children.

“Instruct the youth.

“Assist the aged.

“Send the inhabitants of towns into the country.

“Equalize the profits of all trades.

“Lend money without interest to all who wish to borrow.”

“Emancipate Italy, Poland, and Hungary.”

“Rear and perfect the saddle-horse.”

“Encourage the arts, and provide us with musicians and dancers.”

“Restrict commerce, and at the same time create a merchant navy.”

“Discover truth, and put a grain of reason into our heads.  The mission of Government is to enlighten, to develop, to extend, to fortify, to spiritualize, and to sanctify the soul of the people.”

“Do have a little patience, gentlemen,” says Government in a beseeching tone.  “I will do what I can to satisfy you, but for this I must have resources.  I have been preparing plans for five or six taxes, which are quite new, and not at all oppressive.  You will see how willingly people will pay them.”

Then comes a great exclamation:—­“No! indeed! where is the merit of doing a thing with resources?  Why, it does not deserve the name of a Government!  So far from loading us with fresh taxes, we would have you withdraw the old ones.  You ought to suppress

“The salt tax,

“The tax on liquors,

“The tax on letters,

“Custom-house duties,

“Patents.”

In the midst of this tumult, and now that the country has two or three times changed its Government, for not having satisfied all its demands, I wanted to show that they were contradictory.  But what could I have been thinking about?  Could I not keep this unfortunate observation to myself?

I have lost my character for ever!  I am looked upon as a man without heart and without feeling—­a dry philosopher, an individualist, a plebeian—­in a word, an economist of the English or American school.  But, pardon me, sublime writers, who stop at nothing, not even at contradictions.  I am wrong, without a doubt, and I would willingly retract.  I should be glad enough, you may be sure, if you had really discovered a beneficent and inexhaustible being, calling itself the Government, which has bread for all mouths, work for all hands, capital for all enterprises, credit for all projects, oil for all wounds, balm for all sufferings, advice for all perplexities, solutions for all doubts, truths for all intellects, diversions for all who want them, milk for infancy, and wine for old age—­which can provide for all our wants, satisfy all our curiosity, correct all our errors, repair all our faults, and exempt us henceforth from the necessity for foresight, prudence, judgment, sagacity, experience, order, economy, temperance and activity.