The London-Bawd: With Her Character and Life eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 143 pages of information about The London-Bawd.

The London-Bawd: With Her Character and Life eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 143 pages of information about The London-Bawd.
as much as an old Cavalier, for at that Age she was forc’d to leave off Whoring and turn Bawd:  Her Teeth are all fallen out; at which her Nose and her Chin are so much concern’d, that they intend to meet about it in a little time, and make up the difference.  She’s the most like a Medlar of any thing, for she’s never ripe till she’s rotten.  She is never without store of Hackney Jades, which she will let any one Ride, that will pay for their hire.  She is the very Magazine of Taciturnity; for whatever she sees, she says nothing; it being a standing Maxim with her, That they that cannot make Sport, shou’d spoil none.  She has Learnt so much Philosophy as to know that the Moon is a dark-Body, which makes her like it much better then the Sun, being more Suitable for her Business:  Besides she’s still changing Quarters, now Waxing and then Waining, like her:  Sometimes i’th’ Full, and flush’d with store of Customers; and at another time i’th’ Wane, and beating Hemp in Bridewel.  She has been formerly a Pretender to Musick, which makes her such a great Practitioner in Pick-Song, but She is most expert at a Horn-Pipe.  She understands Means a little, but Trebles very well, and is her self a perfect Base.  Tho’ she lives after the Flesh, yet all is Fish that comes to her Net:  For she is such a cunning Angler, that she don’t fear getting her Living by Hook or by Crook.  She has Baits ready for all Fish, and seldom fails to catch some:  Of a Countrey-Gentleman she makes a Cods-head; and of a rich Citizens Son a Gudgeon; a Swordsman in Scarlet, she takes for Lobster; and a severe Justice of Peace, she looks on as a Crab:  Her Poor Customers, are like Sprats, and Pilchards, who are more considerable for their number than they are for their Value; whilst the Punk is her Salt Eel, and the Pander her Shark and her Swordfish.  Her Charity is very great, for she Entertains all Comers, and not only finds ’em Beds, but Bed-fellows too, of that Sex which shall be most agreeable to them; Which is a Conveniency a man may go to twenty Honest-Houses and not Meet with.  She brings more Wicked Wretches to Repentance than many a good Preacher; for, let ’em be as stubborn as they will, yet she’ll leave them such a Twinging Remembrance in their Joynts, that their very Bones shall ake, but she’ll make them repent that e’er they had to do with her.  And to some Notorious Wretches, she’ll fix such a visible Mark in their Faces, as shall make ’em the Derision and the Loathing of all People; and so bring ’em to Repentance with a Pox to ’em.  Yet she has very little Conscience, for she makes nothing of Selling One Commodity to Twenty Customers:  And for all she cheats them at
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The London-Bawd: With Her Character and Life from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.