“Any thing wrong with the chair?” asked Sir Patrick.  “Begin your new life comfortably, and get another.”

“There’s nothing wrong with the chair, Sir.  Would you—­”

“Would I keep the chair, in that case?  Certainly.”

“I mean, would you advise me—­”

“My good fellow, I’m waiting to advise you. (I’m sure there’s something wrong with that chair.  Why be obstinate about it?  Why not get another?)”

“Please don’t notice the chair, Sir Patrick—­you put me out.  I want—­in short—­perhaps it’s a curious question—­”

“I can’t say till I have heard it,” remarked Sir Patrick.  “However, we will admit it, for form’s sake, if you like.  Say it’s a curious question.  Or let us express it more strongly, if that will help you.  Say it’s the most extraordinary question that ever was put, since the beginning of the world, from one human being to another.”

“It’s this!” Arnold burst out, desperately.  “I want to be married!”

“That isn’t a question,” objected Sir Patrick.  “It’s an assertion.  You say, I want to be married.  And I say, Just so!  And there’s an end of it.”

Arnold’s head began to whirl.  “Would you advise me to get married, Sir?” he said, piteously.  “That’s what I meant.”

“Oh!  That’s the object of the present interview, is it?  Would I advise you to marry, eh?”

(Having caught the mouse by this time, the cat lifted his paw and let the luckless little creature breathe again.  Sir Patrick’s manner suddenly freed itself from any slight signs of impatience which it might have hitherto shown, and became as pleasantly easy and confidential as a manner could be.  He touched the knob of his cane, and helped himself, with infinite zest and enjoyment, to a pinch of snuff.)

“Would I advise you to marry?” repeated Sir Patrick.  “Two courses are open to us, Mr. Arnold, in treating that question.  We may put it briefly, or we may put it at great length.  I am for putting it briefly.  What do you say?”

“What you say, Sir Patrick.”

“Very good.  May I begin by making an inquiry relating to your past life?”

“Certainly!”

“Very good again.  When you were in the merchant service, did you ever have any experience in buying provisions ashore?”

Arnold stared.  If any relation existed between that question and the subject in hand it was an impenetrable relation to him.  He answered, in unconcealed bewilderment, “Plenty of experience, Sir.”

“I’m coming to the point,” pursued Sir Patrick.  “Don’t be astonished.  I’m coming to the point.  What did you think of your moist sugar when you bought it at the grocer’s?”

“Think?” repeated Arnold.  “Why, I thought it was moist sugar, to be sure!”

“Marry, by all means!” cried Sir Patrick.  “You are one of the few men who can try that experiment with a fair chance of success.”

The suddenness of the answer fairly took away Arnold’s breath.  There was something perfectly electric in the brevity of his venerable friend.  He stared harder than ever.