between parent and child.  In opposing the harmful kind of secrecy, there are those who very wrongly, as I believe, object to any secrecy; who say, “All things are clean; why should any difference whatever be made between the lungs or the stomach, and the sex organs; it is often the very making of any distinction that causes and helps cause all the trouble.”  Now the case against all secrecy would be valid if the premises of the argument were sound.  Roughly speaking, lungs are lungs, and stomachs are stomachs, but the sex organs and their impulses, reflexes, and irradiations are connected with the subtlest complexes of mind and affections, inextricably connected with everything human, with further irradiations into the entire social body.

By all that makes it important to prevent the private and mutual secrecies of children, by so much and ten times more is it important to establish confidential secrecy between parent and child.  For in so doing, you not only prevent the undesirable secrecy, but you build normally on modesty; you lay foundations for a true sense of shame, disgust, and disgrace; and in doing so, set up one of the strong defenses against perversions and prurient allurement and seduction.

Prudery should be made impossible and true modesty conserved by proper secrecy in sex matters, and back of that by the proper attitude, conversation, and practice in the child’s familiar domestic functions.  Prudery and modesty must not be confounded; for by as much as we condemn the one, ought we to value the other.

Up to the time, then, that a child goes to school, everything has probably been done that can be done so far as its instruction is concerned, (1) if the child has been kept as far as possible from foul suggestions from others; (2) if the child has had its questions honestly answered or temporarily though unevasively postponed; (3) if the child knows from its parents’ lips that it came into the world from its mother’s body, first growing there “beneath its mother’s heart” until it was strong enough to be born; and that the mother would never have wished to have her child grow in her body had it not been that there was a strong man who would care for both mother and little child with great love and tenderness; that there has to be a father to love the mother and child, and that, therefore, mother and child must love the father, and the child must love both father and mother, and that this love is what makes the home; and (4) if in the process of imparting information, confidence has been established and modesty conserved.

Anyone who has ever seen a group of six- to ten-year-old boys and girls stand side by side and gaze with rapt but natural wonder and delight at a bureau drawer or chest full of the beautiful little garments waiting and ready for an expected child can never doubt the wisdom of a child’s knowing from the start some better version of the story than any of the evasive temporizings of the conventional parent.