PIKE [solemnly].  My son, I shouldn’t be surprised if I did.

HORACE.  Is the world topsy-turvy?  Have I gone crazy?

[With accusing finger pointed at PIKE.]

I’ll bet my soul that’ll disgust her as much as it does me!

PIKE.  My son, I shouldn’t be surprised if it would.

HORACE [staring at him].  By the Lord, but you play a queer game, Mr.
Pike!

PIKE.  Oh, I’m jest crossing the Rubicon.  Your father used to have a saying:  “If you’re going to cross the Rubicon, cross it.  Don’t wade out to the middle and stand there; you only get hell from both banks.”

[Enter LADY CREECH from the hotel.]

LADY CREECH [testily].  Mr. Granger-Simpson, have you seen my nephew?

HORACE.  No; I’ve rather avoided that, if you don’t mind my saying so.

LADY CREECH.  Mr. Granger-Simpson!

HORACE.  I’m sorry, Lady Creech, but I’ve had a most awful shaking-up, and I’m almost thinking of going back home with Mr. Pike.  I rather think he’s about right in his ideas.  You know we abused him, not only for himself, but for his vulgar friend; yet his vulgar friend turned out to be a grand-duke—­and look at what our friends turned out to be.

[Goes rapidly into the hotel.]

[ALMERIC’S voice is heard from the grove.  “Come along!  There’s a good fellow!”]

LADY CREECH.  Isn’t that Almeric?

PIKE.  Here he comes, shamed and bending under the blow!

[ALMERIC enters from the grove, leading a bull terrier pup.]

ALMERIC.  Mariano, Mariano—­I say, Mariano!  I say, Aunty, ain’t he rippin’?  Lucky I got there just as I did—­a bounder wanted to buy him five minutes later.

[MARIANO enters from hotel.]

Mariano, do you think you could be trusted to wash him?

MARIANO.  Wash him!

ALMERIC.  Tepid water, you know; and mind he doesn’t take cold; and just a little milk afterward—­nothing else but milk, you understand.  You be deuced careful, I mean to say.

MARIANO [with dignity].  I will give him to the porter.

[He carries the animal into the hotel.]

LADY CREECH.  Almeric, really, there are more important things, you know.

ALMERIC.  But you don’t seem to realize I might have missed him altogether.  I think I’m rather to be congratulated, you know.  What?

PIKE.  I think you are, my son.  I have given my consent.

ALMERIC.  Rippin’!

LADY CREECH.  And the settlement?

PIKE.  The settlement also—­everything!

[ETHEL enters from the hotel, followed by HORACE.]

LADY CREECH [greatly relieved and overjoyed, starting toward ETHEL]. 
Ethel, my dear!

ALMERIC [cheerfully].  I told you it would all be plain sailing, Aunty. 
There was nothing to worry about.

LADY CREECH [continuing, to ETHEL].  All shall be forgiven, my child.  I am too pleased, too overjoyed in your good-fortune to remember any little bickerings between us.  The sky has cleared wonderfully.  Everything is settled.