ALMERIC [heard outside laughing].  Oh, I say, what a go! [Enters from the hotel, laughing.] Motor-car breaks down on the way here; one of the Johnnies in it, a German, discharges the chauffeur; and the other Johnny [he throws himself sprawling into a chair], one of your Yankee chaps, Ethel, hires two silly little donkeys, like rabbits, you know, to pull the machine the rest of the way here.  Then as they can’t make it, by Jove, you know, he puts himself in the straps with the donkeys, and proceeds, attended by the populace.  Ha, ha!  I say!

[HORACE, gloomy, comes down and sits at tea-table.]

LADY CREECH [angrily, to ALMERIC].  Don’t mumble your words, Almeric.  I never understand people when they mumble their words.

[RIBIERE, who looks anxious, appears in the hotel doorway, then stands aside on the stoop for MARIANO and MICHELE; they enter and pass him with trays, fresh cloth, etc., for table down right, which they rapidly proceed to set.  A valet de chambre enters up left, following them immediately.  He carries a tray with a silver dish of caviar and a bottle of vodka.  As he enters he hesitates for one moment, looking inquiringly at RIBIERE, who motions him quickly toward MARIANO and MICHELE, and withdraws.  Valet rapidly crosses right to table, sets caviar and vodka on the table, and exits up left.  The others pay no attention to any of this.]

ALMERIC.  I went up to this Yankee chap, I mean to say—­he was pullin’ and tuggin’ along, you see, don’t you?—­and I said, “There you are, three of you all in a row, aren’t you?”—­meanin’ him and the two donkeys, Ethel, you see.

LADY CREECH [who has been leaning close to ALMERIC to listen].  Dreadful person!

ALMERIC [continuing].  All he could answer was that he’d picked the best company in sight.

ETHEL [annoyed, half under her breath].  Impertinent!

ALMERIC.  No meanin’ to it.  I had him, you know, I rather think, didn’t
I?

[HAWCASTLE enters with MADAME DE CHAMPIGNY, a number of folded newspapers under his arm.  Simultaneously loud cheers are heard from the village and a general renewal of the commotion.]

HAWCASTLE.  Disgusting uproar!

MADAME DE CHAMPIGNY [to ETHEL].  But we know that such Americans are not of your class, cherie.

ETHEL.  A dreadful person, I quite fear.

HAWCASTLE.  The English papers.

[Lays papers on one of the tea-tables.]

ALMERIC.  I’ll take the Pink ’Un, Governor.  I’m off.

[Starts to go, the Pink ’Un under his arm.]

ETHEL [rather shyly].  For a stroll, Almeric?  Would you like me to go with you?

ALMERIC [somewhat embarrassed].  Well, I rather thought I’d have a quiet bit of readin’, you know.

ETHEL [coldly].  Oh!

[Exit ALMERIC rapidly up left.]

LADY CREECH [in a deep and gloomy voice].  The Church Register!