“Stop!” cried Waldo Lizard, reaching for his hat, with the idea of possibly getting to the ball park by the fifth inning.

But he was prevented from leaving by kindly old Mother Nature, who stepped on him with her kindly old heel, and Lillian Mosquito continued: 

“I must therefore, you see, be able to use my little voice with great skill.  Of course, the first thing to do is to make my victim think that I am nearer to him than I really am.  To do this, I sit quite still, let us say, on the footboard of the bed, and, beginning to hum in a very, very low tone of voice, increase the volume and raise the pitch gradually, thereby giving the effect of approaching the pillow.

“The man in bed thinks that he hears me coming toward his head, and I can often see him, waiting with clenched teeth until he thinks that I am near enough to swat.  Sometimes I strike a quick little grace-note, as if I were right above him and about to make a landing.  It is great fun at such times to see him suddenly strike himself over the ear (they always think that I am right at their ear), and then feel carefully between his finger tips to see if he has caught me.  Then, too, there is always the pleasure of thinking that perhaps he has hurt himself quite badly by the blow.  I have often known victims of mine to deafen themselves permanently by jarring their eardrums in their wild attempts to catch me.”

“What fun!  What fun!” cried Edna Elephant.  “I must try it myself just as soon as ever I get home.”

“It is often a good plan to make believe that you have been caught after one of the swats,” continued Lillian Mosquito, “and to keep quiet for a while.  It makes him cocky.  He thinks that he has demonstrated the superiority of man over the rest of the animals.  Then he rolls over and starts to sleep.  This is the time to begin work on him again.  After he has slapped himself all over the face and head, and after he has put on the light and made a search of the room and then gone back to bed to think up some new words, that is the time when I usually bring the climax about.

“Gradually approaching him from the right, I hum loudly at his ear.  Then, suddenly becoming quiet, I fly silently and quickly around to his neck.  Just as he hits himself on the ear, I bite his neck and fly away.  And, voila, there you are!”

“How true that is!” said Mother Nature. “Voila, there we are!...  Come, children, let us go now, for we must be up bright and early to-morrow to learn how Lois Hen scratches up the beets and Swiss chard in the gentlemen’s gardens.”

XXXV

THE TARIFF UNMASKED

Let us get this tariff thing cleared up, once and for all.  An explanation is due the American people, and obviously this is the place to make it.